Post # 1
So I am recently engaged and am starting to think about asking people to be my bridesmaids. I know the four girl I want to stand next to me, but the problem is I don’t know who to ask to be my maid of honor. I have my childhood friend who I have known for years who I know would be there and do anything and everything I needed. The problem is we haven’t always been the best of friends. We kind of lost touch when we went to college, but have become good friends again. I can totally picture her as a maid of honor, I just don’t know that we have that “best friend bond” that other people have with theirs. I don’t know if she would be there for me emotionally. We have had kind of a rocky friendship the last few months, and I don’t want to make it seem like I am trying to win her over by asking her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I just don’t know if she would be excited to do it.
Then I have a really great friend who I have only been really good friends with for about a year. Her and I are really close and talk and hang out all the time. Again, I know she would be there for me and help out with everything. I also know that she would be there emotionally when I needed her too. I know she would see this as an honor.
I just really need some help figuring this out in my head before I ask anyone to be in my wedding. Do I choose someone who knows me really well and has known me for a long time (and someone I feel knows the real me) or choose someone I haven’t know as long, but is a good friend???
Post # 3
Have you considered having more than one or even none labeled as the maid of honor?
Post # 4
Personally I’d just have your four best girls and no maid of honour.
Post # 5
I thought about having both, but I would rather just have one since the wedding party will be small. And I thought about only having them as maids, but I still need to choose someone to stand next to me and I wouldn’t want anyone to get mad or say “well why didn’t you just choose them to be your Maid/Matron of Honor if they were going to stand next to you.”
Post # 6
I am lining up my girls (except Maid/Matron of Honor because I do have one) based on their height and matched groomsmen, had nothing to do with an “order” of their role in my life. I hope they are all mature enough to understand they are all equal to you and it doesn’t matter who stands where.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
When my maid of honor got married she did not have a maid of honor. She lined us up based on hieght. None of us were offended. 🙂
Post # 8
I think if you don’t automatically think of someone that you want, it is better not to have anyone. If you do decide to ask someone, I would definitely not ask the friend that you think might be reluctant, as we have seen what happens when people have problems with their Maid/Matron of Honor. Drama.
Post # 9
don’t pick someone just because you have known them forever and feel obligated to put them in the Maid/Matron of Honor role, especially if your friendship has been rocky.
it is also ok to pick someone who you have grown close with but haven’t known that long.
and as others have mentioned, you can have everyone be BMs and not have an Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 10
I say wait closer to the wedding to ask. Relationships, as you know change. Just wait until you are 6 months out to see where you stand.
Post # 11
You do not have to have a maid of honor.
The worst thing you can do is choose someone to be Maid/Matron of Honor who isn’t in a position to support you the way you want/need her to.
Post # 12
You don’t have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor. You can ask the girls to be your BMs and if when it gets closer to your wedding you decide to have one as your Maid/Matron of Honor, then you can. When it comes to how they’ll stand by you, you could go in order of age, height, etc.