(Closed) How to continue a friendship with someone I didn\'t invite?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
845 posts
Busy bee

Invite her? It looks like you still want to invite her. I think you still have time.

Post # 4
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Yeah invite her.

if it’s still bothering u its clear u want her there!!!!

Post # 6
Member
845 posts
Busy bee

No, just give it to her and say sorry you didn’t get it to her sooner. You don’t need to pretend anything.
EDIT. I just saw the wedding is this week. Tell her you realized she didn’t get an invitation, but you really want her to be there.

Post # 8
Member
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Ummm, no don’t invite her.  That would be so weird and unnecessary.  If you DID want her there you would have sent her an invite right away.  You say yourself you don’t feel like you want her there, so it’s fine.  I have friends who I seriously considered inviting but at the end of the day I didn’t…primarily due to budget constraints.  If I had invited everyone on the initial guest list we would have been up to 300+ guests.  No thanks.

If you want to maintain a relationship with her after the wedding, just keep on doing what you’re doing.  It’s simple.  Go out for drinks or whatever with her every few months and call it a day.  People get it — you can’t invite EVERYONE YOU KNOW to your wedding.  There has to be a line drawn somewhere, and she was on the other side of that line.  It’s fine.  It’s not like she’s a close friend anymore.

Post # 10
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Just mention it, she will find out eventually. An honest answer is that space was limited so it was a limited guest list. If she doesnt understand then it doesn’t sound like you are missing much. There have been enough weddings where friends I wasn’t as close to didn’t invite me. I wasn’t hurt in the least, no hard feelings. 

Post # 11
Member
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

That’s the thing too, you can’t invite her based on your history.  She WAS a good friend but ISN’T anymore.  So…it’s fine.  If you invite her to your wedding now I think she would be incredibly offended.  There’s no way to cover inviting someone the week before the wedding.  If you invite her now, she gets offended, and you end up not having a friendship.  It would be much better to just keep the friendship going as you have been…see her every few months.

Post # 12
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

You are overthinking this. We had a small wedding and so there were plenty of people we both genuinely liked who weren’t invited. No one is holding a grudge. 

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