How to Continue Relationship with Narcissistic Sister

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee

How do i deal? I cut them off and never looked back. My life has never been better. So much less stress. I hate that people think they have to deal with toxic behavior because ‘family’. Protect your son, protect yourself. I’m sorry.

Post # 3
Member
4440 posts
Honey bee

Don’t subject your child to a narc. Full stop.

Post # 5
Member
3227 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

My sister is part narcissist or something.  Mostly normal, but has extreme anger and overreactions to anything she considers criticism, contradiction, etc.  (Don’t even get me started on how unhealthy her marriage is….. he is wrapped around her little finger.)  

 

We finally get along pretty well now that we’re in our 30s, and basically it just took me realizing that this is who she is, she’s not going to change, and it’s not up to me to make her realize how crazy/shitty she can be.  We have fun together, and when and if the warning signs start up that she’s starting to flip out, I just leave the situation.  Leave mid-conversation and wander off.  “Go to the bathroom”, “take a nap”, whatever.  Just leave.  When she starts in on her husband, same thing, I’m outta there.  I have no interest in watching that.

I don’t know how applicable this is to your situation, but it works pretty well for us.  She’s pretty functional most of the time and this makes it so I can enjoy that part of her and try to avoid the crazy.

Post # 6
Member
7161 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

My Mother-In-Law is a narcissist and has absolutely no relationship with our children. It’s for the best. She would post about my stepson on her Facebook like she constantly had him, stealing pictures from Facebook to act like she was there. Would steal pictures from my SIL’s Facebook of my niece, who she really had no relationship with, and act like she did. I’m sure she’s done it with my older daughter (I don’t think she knows our younger daughter exists yet). I know my husband struggles, but don’t introduce someone to your child who you don’t intend to maintain the same level of connection with consistently. I know my stepson struggled with how much my husband cut out my Mother-In-Law and how much my Mother-In-Law used my stepson as a pawn, so my stepson’s biomom stepped in to maintain their relationship when needed.

Post # 9
Member
4440 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@megm1099:  it’s your choice. It’s not a miracle. 

Post # 11
Member
3227 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
@megm1099:  My Brother-In-Law really seems to love her, and his mother is VERY overbearing, so he pretty much went right from one overbearing woman to another and doesn’t know anything different lol.  (They met and got together in college.)  I think it works?  I dunno.  I couldn’t stand being treated like that, but she is very loving and charming and fun as long as he is “behaving” and she gets her way, so maybe he’s happy.  

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!  I think really limited visits, if you decide to do any at all, is plenty.  Or you could give her some time to maybe grow up a little….  Good luck.

Post # 12
Member
2989 posts
Sugar bee

I 100% agree with pps – your sister should not have a relationship with your son. I realize it will be difficult, but you must protect him. My father was a narc, but more like Trump: Worship him and you were fine, cross him and he would do things to destroy you. I escaped the worst of it because I followed the worship rule. But his narcissism affected me in other ways – mainly that he completely broke my picker.

Hopefully you are searching for answers besides this board – there are a lot of (very intense) resources out there if you look. The Bees here have great advice, and the more info you can get the better.

ETA: There is no such thing as a quality relationship with a narc. You posted about that, and hopefully you know this already.

 

Post # 15
Member
2136 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
@megm1099:  There is no managing this situation. You cannot control another person’s behavior. Your sister should never have access to your child, ever. Also, are your sister’s feelings more important than your husband’s here? He said no. That means no.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors