Post # 16
Im not a mom (yet) but I have spoken to my friends who had babies (most of them have at least one except for me and a few). They said each pregnancy felt different and you can’t really compare one from the other. They also said symptoms (sore boobs, cramping, etc) maybe worse the day before and the next day you don’t feel anything. It’s not a consistent feeling that gets progressively worse generally. Even doctors don’t always have the explanation for this because hormones do fluctuate and one woman is defferent from another.
I would stay away from googling every single symptom. All it will do is get you worried (unless its excessive bleeding or abdominal pain that won’t go away). Keep in mind too that many people who share pregnancy posts will have negative stories. Not that because they are trying to scare you but because they are the ones who have an experience to share. Think about it, there’s not much to write about when you’re pregnancy is normal and uneventful. I’m not trying to downplay that mc’s don’t happen, but I think the the chances are 1/6 (heard it from an ob/gyn being onerviewed on tv) so overall, you have a better chance of having a healthy pregnancy.
Post # 17
In my experience, this never goes away… at first it was a fear of miscarrying, and then we reached 13 weeks, and heard a heartbeat, and it went away.
At 15 weeks baby was so active they couldn’t find the heartbeat, and we rushed to emerge. Everything was fine, but the anxiety came back. It went away a few weeks later, but at our 20 week ultrasound they found cysts on the baby’s brain.
Everything went away on it’s own, so no worries, and a few weeks later, the anxiety was gone. It came back later with a fear of still birth.
I just try and remember that I am doing everything I possibly can, and it’s beyond my control. I have faith that whatever happens is meant to happen, and I am strong and can get through it.
Post # 18
littlebuzz: I didn’t find what I had to say negative in the least. I’ve dealt with anxiety for the past 10 years of my life and have been on and off medication for it, so I do realize that it’s a real health issue. Anxiety in early pregnancy, however, is something that almost everyone experiences… whether they have a history of anxiety or not. My advice was simply to try to focus on the positives and create a support network of people who can be happy for you during this time of uncertainty.
Post # 19
We are currently actively ttc (long journey with fertility treatments and few losses), and I just want to put my 2 cents on the “don’t be anxious, it is bad for the baby” advice. To me personally, that is one of the WORST “advices” out there (and I have struggled with anxiety for years, seen a counselor, been on meds, etc). Because than, my brain goes into a freak out mode of “omg, I am anxious and it is not good for the baby, something will happen to the baby if I don’t stop being anxious right this second” and it just makes the anxiety 100 times worse. “Being anxious and hurting the baby” becomes another “item” to worry about. It is like putting a gun to one’s head and saying “calm down NOW or I will shoot you.”
What helped was telling myself I am doing the best I can to not be anxious and stay healthy, but if despite my best efforts, I still have anxiety, it is OK. It will not hurt anything, mommy and baby will be fine. People were carrying pregnancies in war, starvation, abuse and much more stressful situations than our “first world pregnancy anxiety”. Pregnant women deal with life stresses, loss of jobs, marital issues, family issues, etc. No one lives in a spa, stress-free for 9 months. Body is very resilient and knows how to withstand huge stresses (cave men had “fight or flight” nervous system mode turned on at all times). Accept that you have anxiety and learn to be ok with it. If you put too much pressure on getting rid of it, it might make it worse. Accept that you have it, it is ok, and you will get through it, as have been in the past. If one day, you find a way to overcome it completly, great, if not, that is ok too as you will learn how to live with it so it doesn’t bother you as much and just get used to it being your “normal”.