Post # 1
Hi everyone, just wondering if any of you have any advice on how I can convince my in-laws to lock their doors. They perpetually leave them unlocked (even when no one is home and at night) and rarely take house keys with them when they leave. If they have a key, its only because it happened to be on the car keys they took.
The reason this is actually an issue for us is that we live in their basement suite and share the main entrance with them. I do not feel safe being in a house that is unlocked (if I’m sleeping or something), nor do I feel safe knowing that if they leave after I do the house will be unlocked until my husband or I get home. We ALWAYS lock the door when we enter and leave… but are having trouble convincing other people to do the same.
Growing up if my sister or I forgot our keys we would be locked out until someone else got home – end of story. We would also get in HUGE trouble if we did not lock up – So my instinct now is to just always keep the house locked.
The reason my IL’s think they can not lock up is that they recently (a couple of years ago) immigrated to Canada from South Africa, and they seem to think that nothing ever bad happens in Canada and that no one is ever broken into, etc. I ask them to lock and they say “Its Canada, it’ll be fine” and brush my request off.
Can anyone give me any advice on how to convince them to lock the damn doors? I keep expecting to come home one day to all our stuff stolen… We are going to be getting a lock to put on the door to our basement suite, but if someone is inside, they can just smash the door down since no one will see or hear like they would if it was a street-door.
Post # 3
@EmeraldTiger: That’s tough when you’re living in their house. Are there any safety events/police resources, etc. you can show them so they know locally it is recommended that doors are locked?
Post # 4
@EmeraldTiger: What about making it really easy for everyone to lock up the doors with a keycode lock? It’s one less thing to worrying about, because you don’t need a physical key. When leaving, all you do is press a button and turn the lock. To enter, you type in a code and open the lock.
Post # 5
@EmeraldTiger: How frustrating! I have been having to slowly train my husband to lock up, including the deadbolt (I had to show him how easy it is to break into the house with just the knob locked). I don’t know what I would do in your situation other than put a lock on the door to your basement suite so at least you can feel somewhat safe and secure.
Post # 6
Is it horrible that my first response in me head was to make it look like someone broke I while they were gone so they could get the point? Granted, nothing stolen just messed up a bit… and the door left wide open for when they get home…Nothing to extreme… And when they go to call the cops tell I’m it’s not necessary… And explain that it’s really that simple…
Post # 7
I don’t lock my doors. If someone were living me and didn’t like it, I’d tell them to move. I think it’s their house and I’m not sure you have a say in it.
Post # 9
@EmeraldTiger: What’s your husband’s opinion? If he wants the doors locked, get him to do the talking, since they’re his family. If he doesn’t want the doors locked, there’s not much you can do.
Is the house and contents insured? It might be a condition of the insurance policy.
Post # 10
While it’s probably true that OP technically cannot do anything about it, it’s not her house, I as a house owner would likely honor the fears of someone who was living with me because I do know that I “should” lock up even if I don’t.
If you, OP, are coming home to a dark house that has been unlocked for the day, that would scare me. Even worse sleeping in a house that is not locked. Have your boyfriend tell them that this is not safe for you, he should be taking action to protect you.
While I never worry too much about someone breaking in when I’m not there (it’s happened and let them take the crap) I don’t want them breaking in with me there, and I sure as h*ll don’t want them lying in wait for me when I get home.
I live in an urban environment and would not dream of keeping anything unlocked.
Of course I grew up in a small town where no one locked anything, but now parents and relatives lock up there. It’s just common sense.
Have them listen to the episdoe from The Moth about the guy in suburbia who was blase about crime in his neighborhood until two guys jumped him (and his baby) in his garage, took him in the house, robbed him and was getting ready to shoot him then a neighbor intervened.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Maybe I’m biased because we don’t lock our own doors – but if you live with them, you really can’t demand that they do anything in particular with their own home. And I think your scenario about someone smashing down your door is pretty paranoid TBH.
I don’t know where you live, but unless it a big city or a crime-ridden area, this really isnt a big deal. I think this is a matter to needing to adjust your expectations to your reality. Just lock your doors, it’ll be ok!
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2014 - Serafino Wines
Having visited a small town in Canada, I was very shocked that most people left their doors unlocked 24/7 or even left their doors wide open a lot of the time, even when they weren’t there. It’s not that I live in a high crime area or anything like that, but here you just do it. I even lock our screen/security door when I am home sometimes because of previous experiences. I recently came across somebody who never locks their doors and lives in a relatively rough neighbourhood. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it because here you don’t just not lock your doors! Haha it’s such a foreign concept to me. I worry all day if I can’t remember if I locked up or not. I would be frustrated too but I don’t see what you can do outside of what you’ve already asked of them. I guess I would just not let up and keep drilling it into them.
Post # 13
@EmeraldTiger: I can’t imagine not locking my doors! I think your are right to be concerned about this. There is a such thing as a crime of opportunity, and it can happen anywhere. Moving from a country with a high crime rate, to one with a relatively very low one, seems to have given your in laws a false sense of security. Locking your doors is such an easy precaution to take and it would be in their best interests to do so. You and your husband should have a serious discussion with his parents and respectfully express your concerns.
Post # 14
That’s crazy to me. Why make it so easy for an intruder to come into your home. Even the safest of neigborhoods can be robbed.
I don’t understand what is so hard for them about locking their damn door. I mean, really. I’d move if I was you. I would do whatever needed to get out of there ASAP.
Post # 15
Can you get a new knob that you can set to automatically lock when you close it? My condo unit has one like that. Unfortunately, I have gotten locked out once (without my phone!), but once in 3 years isn’t too bad 🙂
Post # 16
My family NEVER locks their doors, and leaves the keys in their cars.
One day, my family woke up and ONE OF THE CARS HAD BEEN STOLEN FROM THE DRIVEWAY. Not a beater! A one year old, 25k+ SUV. So my brother nearly missed his baptism! It was great.
Did they learn?
Some people just don’t like to lock up!