(Closed) How To Convince My BF I don’t Need a Diamond!

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Welcome to the Bee!!! Sorry, but I have a diamond not a moissy, but have a few suggestions. Maybe show him some pics from her/videos of moissys and see if he can tell. Or let him go on their website and see what a huge variety they have. Maybe send him some articles about them. Or, let him give you the smaller ring for now, so you don’t have to wait for the engagement itself, and then either upgrade later iwth the moissy or buy a moissy RHR or necklace or something to still have your everyday bling.

Post # 4
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I love big stones too, that is why moissy worked great for me! Luckily my Fiance had an open mind.

Perhaps have him read some of the MANY testimonials here on the Bee? Maybe he’s just skeptical that it really is as great as it sounds? (I can testify… it is! πŸ™‚ )

Also I have lots of HD videos of my stone, if that helps!

Post # 5
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

LOL, I understand!!  I was in the ‘I don’t want a ring, period’ camp for a lot of reasons…one of them was because I didn’t want a small ring.  I’d rather not have one.  I have nothing against small rings on other people, I think they’re beautiful, but I already have diamond rings so I didn’t see the need to spend THOUSANDS on another one when we want to buy a house, he needs a new car, I want a new car, etc.  My Fiance said more than once ‘Well, we can’t plan a wedding until I can buy you a nice ring’.  It was a cycle.  I showed him Moissy’s, and Asha’s, and explained that if he NEEDED to buy me a ring I didn’t want, to please buy a diamond alternative that would save him money.  I even picked a few I liked.  All the while telling him ‘No ring needed’.  When I finally showed him my top choices, listing prices, and finding their twins in diamonds and he realized how much money they were, he started listening.

Finally, I don’t know HOW, but it all sunk in.  He asked me if I’d be truly happy being engaged with no ring, and I said yes.  He proposed the very next morning.  I was happier than a clam to announce our engagement, sans ring, and tell the world how happy we were.  He second guessed his ring decision, a long story later we finally agreed on a CZ and sterling silver ring to hold me (him) over.  I’ll wear it until we get married, and then probably continue to wear it with the band.  No one but close friends, family and the bee know (because no one ever asks…who knows what they think in their minds?).  I never say it’s a diamond, because it isn’t, but I never say what it is either.  Someday, when we have the house and the cars and all of that and still have money leftover (hahaha) he can buy me a diamond.  Or he can buy me a more expensive CZ set in a better metal. 

Post # 6
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I have a moissanite e-ring, and it wasn’t that difficult to explain to/convince my Fiance that it’s what I really wanted. He was very receptive about it. I never wanted a diamond (idk why, I just didn’t), but we actually almost went with CZ because we could get the size I wanted for next to nothing. But I changed my mind so moissanite at the last minute because I really wanted a forever ring that wouldn’t need to be replaced when the stone clouded. I just explained to him how moissanite came to be, what it is, and how it’s way less expensive than diamonds, yet is just as tough and will last forever and he was immediately onboard. I think what really sealed it for us that we were going with moissanite was sitting down and looking at moissanite rings online together. Just try to explain to him that it’s what you really want and that you won’t be totally happy with a smaller diamond. I think that’s understandable, and I’m sure he’ll come around.

Edit: I have videos of my ring, too. If you’d like to see them.

Here’s one of it inside.

Here’s one of it in the sunlight.

 

Post # 7
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee

The way I “convinced” my SO that I don’t *NEED* a diamond was by showing him all the ring porn in the world. I did my research on moissy and then kinda joked around with him showing him comparison pics. Having him guess which was the diamond, moissy, asha eTC. With an untrained eye, it really is hard to tell the difference. He joked back with me about getting one. I told him that it honestly didn’t matter what was on my finger and all that mattered is him asking me to be his wife.

Of course I was willing to “compromise” for a smaller diamond, just to get the ring and the engagement sooner. I did a lot of research on what my DREAM diamond ring would look like and HOW MUCH it would cost. 10-20 thousand dollars JUST for a 1.5-2carat diamond stone of good quality! In a million years we wouldn’t be able to save for something like that. So….even though it’s not a diamond….I still really LOVE the moissanite stone. For me, its sparkly, it has fire and depth, it’s really beautiful! Just as a diamond is, or a sapphire or any other pretty stone. So for me, I can get my DREAM ring for an extremely affordable price. Some people like it, some people don’t. I also like that it is conflict free. Don’t get me wrong, I love diamonds!! I just feel like this is the right choice for me. ^^^Say all of that to your SO lol πŸ™‚ Good lucK!!

Post # 8
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee

@CarolinaCola:

 

OH AND SHOW HIM THE VIDEO OF CarolinaCOla’s ring!!! LMAO. That definitely eased my SO’s mind. I can’t believe how brilliant it looks in that video πŸ˜€ it’s unreal.

Post # 9
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Hi and welcome!

I’m not sure how long you’ve been showing him, but I do think guys take longer to wrap their heads around an idea of alternatives. They grow up thinking “Gotta buy my woman a diamond.” It’s brainwashed into them. They can’t help it. πŸ˜‰ lol.

I would keep reiterating it, keep showing pictures, ONLY look at pictures of the Moissy’s you like in front of him, show him the price comparison (which if it’s a large stone, he’ll be like o_o) Lol.

Also I agree with PPs – show him all the Moissy love threads on here! I have an Asha myself so I’m not much help on that particular aspect, but it’s an alternative and I’m SUPER happy with it. If that helps. πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MissTX: Thank you so much πŸ™‚ I just edited my post to include links to my ring videos πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee

Well first off welcome to the bee! πŸ™‚

I feel like we are two in the same! I too would like a bigger ring, not saying I would want some huge diamond that just looks gaudy, but I just personally want a decent size ring! Then I came to the boards and found out about all of the other types of options, like moissinite. And I would be completely happy with one!!! 

If he himself feels like a diamond is what he wants to get you, maybe you can compromise. Tell him instead of having to postpone your engangment for a long time, get the moissinite ring that you want, and then down the road when you are better off, consider a diamond upgrade. 

 

Post # 12
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I sat down with my Fiance and had a heart to heart. i told him sure evey girl wants a huge sparkly diamond but for financial reasons it was not in the plan (im in school we have a 3 yr old just bought a house ect) I told him my answer wasnt going to change weather he got me a real diamond or “fake”, I will love my ring because of what it means, that he loves me and wants to be with me for the reast of our lives. I explained to him that i would rather have a “fake” ring than a real diamond, i wasnt marrying him for a big real rock i was gonna marry him because i loved him. what we paid for my one caret ring which is totally perfect and noone could tell the difference i could have barely otten 1/8th of a carat. and the best part is that noone knows its not real and i love it and we are getting married eventually lol i have to finish school first lol! this way we can afford doing the stuff we want to and the life style we live and not break the bank. Just be honest tell him the reasons you would prefer it and eventually he will listen. 

Post # 14
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@cirk: Honestly, you probably cannot if HE wants you to have one. I tried to convince Darling Husband that I didnt want a diamond but he kept saying that I might regret that and wish that I had one. I honestly didnt think I wanted one but am really glad that he got me one πŸ˜€

 

Post # 15
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee

If you’re going with moissy I also think it helps to not use the word “fake”. It’s a proper gemstone just like sapphire or rubies. It’s not a fake diamond its a real moissanite. Ask him how he would feel if you asked for a sapphire ring like Princess Kate has. Would he still laugh? Explain that Moissanite is the GEMSTONE that you have fallen in love with. I’m a bling girl too and I LOVE that it had double refraction. TWICE the sparkles? Move aside diamonds.

Remind him who YOU are. A girl that loves super sparkle and big rocks while still being smart about your wallet. Tell him how moissanite fits YOUR specific desires. and convince him that you want a moissy MORE than a diamond. That’s it’s not a compromise but your preference.

Post # 16
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@MrsGolden2Bee: <– What she said. Because she said it 10000 times better than I did. πŸ™‚

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