(Closed) How to cope when your husband is working out of state

posted 6 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

get the girlfriends around and partaayyy!!

Post # 4
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

I kinda agree with PP.  My Fiance works out of town sometimes as well.  He works in construction and there are months at a time when he is out of state every week.  It really sucks but I try to look at the postives…no one to fight over the remote and what I want to watch; which means SYTTD marathons!!!  I don’t have to cook for anyone other than myself.  On the days I go to the gym I don’t feel guilty about working out later than normal.  And best part of all is I get the King size bed all to myself ๐Ÿ™‚

Seriously though I know how you feel and it does suck.  You just have to think positive and that absence makes the heart grow fonder and what a great time catching up (cuddling… among other things) you two will have.  This will just bring you closer when he does come home and it isn’t permanent.

Post # 5
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

As someone who is in an LDR and doesn’t see her SO for 4+ months at a time, I tell you that you have to just keep busy. Hang out with your friends. Pick up a hobby. Stay busy. If your day is filled, then you won’t notice the lonliness as much. You won’t have that down time to dwell over the fact that he isn’t there.

Post # 6
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Skyping and phone calls are all well and good, but there’s something about the written word, its more potent, palpable and something he can tuck in his shirt pocket and carry with him all day….get some good paper, a nice pen, a glass of wine and write your man a letter, not an email, not a text…a letter.  If your stuck on inspiration, the internet is rotten with examples, but I find that when it comes to love, best to speak from the heart.

Another idea is to buy a journal that you mail back and forth, write in it, put pictures and things you find in your day in it, trade off every couple of days….

He might not ever admit it, but if you start to write him, he’ll more than likely keep EVERY letter and look forward to the mail.

Post # 7
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@loraina.giannangelo:  Get a puppy ๐Ÿ™‚ Haha. Or a kitten ๐Ÿ™‚

Do you have any hobbies? Could you start going to the gym or something?

Maybe get the things done around the house that you’ve been putting off?

I think distracting yourself is the only way to go here.

Post # 8
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@loraina.giannangelo:  Send him lots of romantic emails and STAY BUSY. Take up a new hobby. Darling Husband has a new job now, but he travelled a LOT for a year or so before that. In fact, right after we got engaged, he sailed to South America and had no internet or phone, meaning that for a month and a half I had ZERO contact with him. It was pretty awful. But I learned to knit while he was gone and tried out some new recipes. He was happy to come back to a nice, warm, homemade blanket and a delicious meal!

Absence totally makes the heart grow fonder.

Post # 9
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

I hate it when my Fiance works away (not often, but he’s been away for over 2 weeks right now, and won’t be home until sometime next week). It’s weird because I actually look forward to having the place to myself before he goes, and doing my own thing, but quickly discover how much I hate going to bed alone now. I haven’t been in bed asleep before midnight once since he’s been away. I don’t eat as well (cheese and crackers or grilled cheese sandwishes for dinner every night) and I get really lazy.  To make matters worse, I generally can only speak to him via sat phone, or when he calls me from a payphone, which is rare. I’ve spoke to him 4 times in the past 16 days, for no longer than 5 minutes at a time.

It sucks. I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve been busying myself with trying out DIY wedding projects and reading some good books. Some of my friends have been awesome in inviting me out with them to fundraisers, etc. and it really helps.

This weekend will be better because it’s the last one that I’m alone, and I’ll spend it making him pie, making the house spotless for his return, and a couple of other things I know he’d like me to take care of. I also know that he’ll likely bring me something sparkly and special home, which I consider my reward for having to take the bus to work and scoop the little box every day.lol

Post # 10
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My husband has not have had to work out-of-state, but he has had to work up north for a couple weeks at a time sometimes. At first…its nice to have the time to myself but after awhile I do miss him. I focus on keeping myself busy (picking up extra hours at work, hanging with the girls, shopping, etc), I try not to spend too much time in the house or I will go nuts.

Post # 11
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My advice is find anything and everything to stay busy, busy, busy. I work in two different part time jobs, work out with one friend, work out differently with another friend, always have some form of plans for the weekends, and constantly find new ways to engage my attention: learning languages, crafts, weddings plannin, house upgrades. It sounds kinda crazy now that I list it out, but it really helps by not just sitting there and missing my deployed solider all the time. Although, I’ll admit, there has been times of epic meltdowns and that results in trying some new cooking recipe.

Post # 12
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@loraina.giannangelo my fiance was in the marine corps, stationed outside of san diego. i live in texas, about 1800 miles away! he was able to be home for major holidays, but we once had to endure 4 months without seeing each other. we wrote letters to each other (yes, hand-written letters!) frequently. i would spray the ones i wrote with my perfume. the sense of smell is very close to the memory part of the brain ๐Ÿ™‚

we would also video chat every night. we also sent each other care packages with random things that reminded us of the other one. one of my favorite things we did, though, was “watch movies together.” we would take turns buying the dvd/bluray combo packs and mail the other one the dvd. at night, we’d call each other on the phone or facetime and push play at the same time. we watched so many movies like this, and, while you miss out on the whole cuddling aspect of movie watching, we got to enjoy movies together 1800 miles apart!

long-distance relationships are absolutely sucky, so you have to get creative! and it is a great time to pick up a new hobby or try something you hadn’t had time for before and you can even keep him up to date on your latest endeavor! good luck! ๐Ÿ™‚

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