(Closed) How to cope with his motorcycle obsession?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

FI and his whole family are very into motorcycles (his dad fixes bikes, his brother creates and sells custom parts for stunts!) and between the two of us we actually have 4 bikes! However I’m very lucky in that FFIL instilled in his kids a strong sense of safety which is even more amplified in my sensible FI, so when we go out on rides we almost always have proper jacket, full face helmet, jeans, boots, and gloves.  Tbh I can’t believe people ride wearing only sun glasses, tshirt and shorts… having coverage makes SUCH a big difference in terms of temperature and just plain getting pummeled by the wind!

 

I’m not sure how else you can convince him, except maybe gifting him a full face helmet or asking his friends/family to help you in convincing him?  I think it’s great at least that his family has started wearing helmets, even though it took a dangerous accident to trigger it.

 

I will say, I have noticed that with harley/cruiser riders vs sportbike riders, those on sportbikes always seem to have more safety gear on.  Wonder if it’s a thing about the “look”?

 

Post # 4
Member
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Birdiebaby4:  My dads ride but was in a very serious accident when he was 18 (before I was born) since then he wears full face helmet and full leathers EVERY time he rides, even in the summer heat.  My mom and I worry about him all the time because of other drivers.

 

Does your FI wear long sleeves and pants when he rides?  

Post # 5
Member
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Birdiebaby4:  the chances of an accident where something terrible or life altering happens to the rider are exactly why I told FI he would no longer be riding bikes. He had crashed one just before meeting me and was lucky to only have damaged his shoulder. But I told him, you want to be single with no commitments and ride a motorcycle, go ahead.  You want to get married and have kids and a future with me? No motorcycles. The momentary fun he has is not worth what could happen to our family if he got hit in an accident. Yes, there is no guarantee that something else tragic will never happen, God forbid, but choosing to get on a motorcycle is an unnecessary risk and asking for trouble. 

Post # 7
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t have a SO who rides motorcycles. I’m the rider in the household. Full kevlar gear, proper boots, gloves with steel knuckle reinforcements, full-face helmet. Every ride, every time.  Either you have a strong sense of safety, or you don’t, and a lot of times you just learn it while you’re learning to ride. It’s very hard to break the bad habits. 

You may want to ask him why exactly he’s opposed to the right gear.  If he doesn’t like a full-face helmet because it’s heavy or he feels it restricts his line of sight, let him know there’s plenty of full-face options that are super lightweight and also have a huge line of vision (Bieffe is one of my favorite brands).  He may need to pony up a higher price tag but it’s worth it. If he thinks the gear is too hot and uncomfortable, have him look at the Joe Rocket textile lines (particularly Phoenix) or Aerostitch mesh lines.

The  Northwest Motorcycle School Advanced Rider Course (not clinic but full-blown course) is an incredible learning experience, both in terms of safety and of skill building, absolutely worth every penny of the tuition and hotel expense if you’re not local to the Seattle area: http://www.northwest-motorcycle.com/index.htm    The classes are taught by former motorcycle cops (it is amazing to see the things the lead instructor can do on his massive lumbering Goldwing) and the culture in those classes is one of a lot of respect for the bike, the road, and being a very safe rider.  You are not permitted in without a minimum of safety gear, and everyone drops the bike at least 4 times. It’s demanding. Wouldn’t be surprised if a week in class and he’s a completely different type of rider. The kind that appreciates proper gear.

 

Post # 9
Member
10368 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Jesus Christ, he only wears a half helmet?

I think a reality check in the form of graphic photos of people who only wore half helmets is in order. No helmet is basically signing an official death wish.

We have a very protected road behind my work building that people sometimes ride motorcycles on for fun. No cars, no sharp curves….and 2 people have still died in the last 3 years on it, one of those was last week. He was wearing a half helmet, and lost control and slammed into a tree. Police checked the surveilance video – he wasn’t even going crazy fast. Just a little slip of the hand for a very experienced rider can be the difference between life and death.

I honestly don’t think I could be married to someone who didn’t take safety more seriously. I certainly wouldn’t have kids with someone who is so flippant.

Post # 11
Member
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Birdiebaby4:  HE’S A PARAMEDIC AND HE DOES THIS?!

Post # 12
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Birdiebaby4:  My DH doesn’t, haha, um- because honestly he doesn’t have a reaction time and awareness to the point where i feel comfortable with it.  (And neither does he!)  It is a long off topic story, but he grew up off the grid, and I kind of had to teach him how to drive in a city setting when we moved here.  He has had several accidents 🙁

Anyway… my Dad and Mom are huge into motorcycles.  My Dad actually rides one year-round.  (Yes, it is the Great Lakes Region!)  Never worried about him for a second.  He has never had an accident.  He is all about safety.  I think the most important thing- even over a helmet- is to ALWAYS have eye protection- is your SO doing this?  (I assume he is.)  Even at night- we wear clear sunglasses.  So, is he wearing a half helmet with glasses?  I would be okay with that.  Why though is he resistant to a full helmet?  Why not get the best one you can?

I don’t worry about my Dad because he is super aware.  He told me he secretly kind of never stops being paranoid and almost afraid- because the minute you do you could be a goner.  He also wears bright colored stuff- to be as visible as possible. 

Post # 14
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Birdiebaby4:  My BIL’s little brother (who I pretty much grew up with, since BIL and my sister have been a couple since I was 5 or 6) was in an accident just like the one you are describing and did not survive. In his case, it was a 15 year old girl out driving with her permit who made a left turn in front of him. My BIL made it to the scene before the first responders and I know it has scarred him for life. He doesn’t talk about it AT ALL but my sister snuck and showed me some evidence photos of the car afterwards, including close up shots of the windshield that was smashed with tiny pieces of meat and blood all in the glass. No helmet.

 

My cousin was in a fatal 4-wheeler accident at the age of 19. He was riding with a group of kids, hit a tree stump and flipped the ATV upside down. The force of the ATV pinning him against the tree stump smashed his skull like a grape. No helmet.

 

I used to have a coworker who was disabled from a motorcycle accident. It looked like he had been in a fire. He had one little scarred up ear and the skin on half of his face was grafted. I guess part of the bone was gone too because that side of his face kind of dented in. Elbow and knee on that side looked the same. Bike accident. Yes helmet.

 

I will never understand the logic behind torpeedoing yourself with no protection where pure science would tell you that skin + car/asphault/tree/tractor trailer tire/animal = death. Unfortunately, men will pick their poison and for some this is it.

 

Post # 15
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Birdiebaby4:  Send him to that course as a christmas present. Really it changed my whole attitude on riding, and I was already pretty safety-oriented when I walked in the door.

Post # 16
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@fishbone:  That is a really awesome solution. Next person I know who rides I will definitely suggest this. Thanks for posting!

The topic ‘How to cope with his motorcycle obsession?’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors