Post # 1
We’re not in a good place in our relationship, and so my SO wants to postpone the wedding until things are better. We’re seeing individual therapists, and had gone to a few couple counseling sessions. No affairs. I’m extremely insecure and have chronic health issues recently diagnosed. Any advice? How do you cope with postponing the wedding? Did you eventually have the wedding?
Post # 2
Oh bee… I am so sorry for everything you’re going through. I wouldn’t even focus on a wedding right now and just get to a place where you’re confident, healthy and happy. It might be with each other, it might not, but a wedding won’t fix your mental or physical health.
Post # 3
No postponed wedding, but just piping in to say I wish I had postponed my first marriage. If either party has doubts then don’t do it.
Post # 4
I don’t know how to face anybody. I feel it’s all my fault the church wedding is off. We did the civil bit of ceremony already. I don’t know how to carry on.
Post # 5
So you’re legally married already? Why have you postponed the symbolic bit if the important bit has already happened?
ETA: I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Post # 6
You don’t have to tell anyone anything. If you want to share your personal information with people health issues are enough of an explanation.
Post # 7
Wait, if you had a civil ceremony you are already married? And you postponing a symbolic ceremony until things get better in your relationship? And you are still hoping to have the wedding down the line? I don’t really get it.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Did you do a civil marriage ceremony, or did you just requested a license? If you are married already, I don’t get postponing the church ceremony.
Post # 9
I would advise you to breath and relax. As you’re already married you don’t need to rush and can take your time. Although it’s not planned and it doesn’t happen that often, the people invited just have to accept.
Don’t pressure yourself with the church wedding on top on everything you already have to deal with. Try to sort everything else out and when you feel more stable and calm, you can begin to plan. You have a lot of other things that should be your priority and need your energy at the moment.
Post # 10
If you were married in a civil ceremony then as far as the law is concerned, you’re already married. How is no church wedding your fault?
Post # 11
KatzeB : you have to have a ceremony to bind the marriage license dont you?
Nonetheless, i’m sorry you’re feelign like this. But I have to say, its postponing it, not calling it off or breaking up. Its smart to work through th relationship so you marry him happily and not be secretly upset or annoyed with, or him with you.
Take this time to really better your relationship 🙂
Post # 12
Really confused on the civil ceremony thing. You are already married.
Post # 13
Since you’re already married, I don’t understand where the stress is coming from? Do your families know you’re married?
Post # 14
We signed the papers. But we have been abstaining till the church wedding. Now we’re postponing it. I’m not here. Not there. People know the civil bit is done. But we are meant to consider the church wedding as the real deal.
Post # 15
KatzeB : I truly don’t mean to be harsh but this all seems very strange to me. You are technically married so I don’t see how a church wedding would change things? Especially since church weddings also typically “seal the deal” legally as well (from my experience anyway). Can you help me understand the reasoning behind this decision? Also, could that be part of the stress?
Putting that aside, I think it’s always a good thing to focus inward on yourself before moving forward, however it seems you have already moved forward and gotten married. And if you two decide to not have the wedding at all, you would annul the marriage?