(Closed) How to cope with waiting?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think that you need to give him some time.  You two have had conversations about getting married and have gone ring shopping so he really is thinking about it.  Have you seen Mr. Bee’s Three Step Plan?  It is really so true.  Go out and keep yourself busy, build your life and your career and the proposal will come.  I can’t give a time line or anything, my husband and I were waiting for a few years after we talked about it and he had the ring for a year.

Post # 4
34 posts

I think most of us understand this feeling of waiting jealously while friends and relatives are getting married. Once you have decided that you are ready it seems like every second that he waits is excruciatingly painful and he just doesn’t get it at all. Most of the boards will advise you to pick up a hobby and as much as it sucks I have to agree. I was going absolutely crazy on my boyfriend until I started to concentrate on attending my church more often and I think that took a lot of pressure off of him. 

Post # 5
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  Hi, and welcome! A lot of us are definitely familiar with that frustrating feeling :-). My Fiance and I were together for nearly 6 years before he proposed (granted, we started dating when we were 18 and 20 and we have spent some time being in a LDR ourselves). I had quite a few meltdowns–luckily, I mainly had those on the board!

  One way you can start planning for the wedding is by opening a savings/checking account. Start putting in a little bit of money with each paycheck, so by the time your SO does propose, you will have something started. I really wish I would have been more diligent with this while I was waiting. I saved, but not a lot!

  Something that helped me was sitting down and talking with my SO, just to see where we were at. We talked about when we could see ourselves being engaged and all of that good stuff. It helped to know how we each were thinking!

  I definitely agree with the Mr. Bee plan, too! It sucked at times, but it really did help! Good luck!

Post # 7
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Oh geez with the Holidays everyone and their mom seemed to have gotten engaged! But remember…it’s not a race to the aisle. Every couple has their own time. I’ve been “good” with my Boyfriend or Best Friend for awhile it seems, and there’s always something to work on. Right now it’s always a great thing to work on yourself. Pick up a hobby. Work out (whether to lose or gain weight). I went back to school similarly to keep my mind off the wedding bells.

Post # 8
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I would agree with the other bees when I say, give him time. You said you’ve only been sharing an address for 4 months, that is a very small amount of time. I know you mentioned that you’ve been pratically living together for 2+ years, but during that time you had “somewhere to go” if there was every an issue. Actually living together brings out a lot of issues and I’m sure once he feels adjusted and ready, he will propose. If its been talked about and you are both committed to each other, it will come. Try to enjoy your friends wedding as much as you can. Use it as a way to get ideas for your own (what worked, what you didn’t like, etc). It is difficult waiting. But you don’t want to ruin it with ultamatiums and the like. I would have a serious conversation with him, tell him that it is important to you and then leave it be. If you need to.. distract yourself with other activities – yoga/cleaning/take up a new hobby, something that will help keep your mind off of it. He wants it to be special.. and even though he knows you are going to say yes, it’s still very nerve-racking for him.


But welcome to the hive! I hope the support you find here will help you curb those jealous feelings and enjoy what a wonderful relationship you have with this man!

Post # 9
3303 posts
Sugar bee

waiting is very tough but we are here to help you get through it

Post # 11
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It really depends on how you look at the waiting period as either positive or negative. I said this before, but right after Fiance and I went ring shopping I got really antsy, I wanted to know what was going on. At first the waiting period was negative, but I realized I already had the commitment, and I completely forgot about the proposal. Once my Fiance proposed the waiting was actually a positive experience for me, because he got to plan the way he wanted to, without me breathing down his neck. 

It seems as though you have the right state of mind, just try to apply those tools to the relationship. Waiting is different for everybody. My story will not be the same as yours, but I hope it helps. 

Post # 13
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

The more you dwell on it, the less chance it will happen.  You’re setting yourself up for dissapointment by “waiting” and expecting for that perfect time.  When looking at simply how long you’ve been together, I’d say it’s just not long enough.  That being said, if he loves you, the day will come.  Be patient and don’t expect it to happen on your timeline.

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