(Closed) How to create a Pagan ceremony where everyone is comfortable

posted 9 years ago in Pagan
Post # 18
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@mtnhoney:  I LOVE that seating arrangement, it’s absolutely beautiful! everyone would get to see the procession walk down the circular aisle.

I’m Catholic and I’m planning on including an explanation of rituals/Mass in my program– I converted and my family and side have no real clue what goes on during a Mass. 

I would love to attend a Pagan wedding and learn more about your faith through a program.  I would not be uncomfortable watching you do various things, though I might be a little wary to fully participate? (Just my family won’t take eucharist at my wedding but will still enjoy the ceremony.)

Post # 20
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think you could extend it a little farther if you had more guests– people would have had to sit behind someone in a traditional setting, so I wouldn’t be offended to be at the back of the circle.  I’d just be sure that the last people can still hear what’s going on– microphone?

Post # 22
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee

I LOVE the chair idea! I think I would suggest that to a lot of people! For any religion for an outdoor wedding!  I think it would also be symbolic for cultures like Jamacian who do the broom jump, like when they leave the circle and jump over the broom with each other.  That would awesome!

Post # 23
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I found this on a pagan wedding site, and I thought it’d be easy to do where it would mean something to you guys but it would in no way make anyone uncomfortable….

  • East-Glass candleholder with a white candle to represent Air.

  • South-Brass candleholder with red candle to represent Fire.

  • West-Bowl of seashells in brine to represent Water.

  • North-Bowl of stones (amethyst, turquoise, lapis) to represent Earth.

it’s from here (http://mag.weddingcentral.com.au/ceremonies/pagan.htm), and the site also has some neat explanations of what to expect from an example ceremony…

of course, i come from a christian upbringing, so i have no idea how accurate this is, but i still thought the ceremony words were really neat in this example… i kinda wish we’d had a more personalized ceremony…. my current beliefs deviate quite significantly from my upbringing, and i think i’d rather have had a ceremony that was more a reflection of my husband and me instead of a reflection of making my family happy….. :/

Edit–i totally love that chair idea…. how neat for everyone to be able to see you up close and wish you well as you walk by “down the aisle”… 

Post # 25
Member
6 posts
Newbee

Jumping in because I’m doing something similar, only it’s my betrothed who is an athiest!  But, he’s very nature oriented, so I’m thinking of having an altar in the center of a circular setup–or maybe the spiral but not sure we have enough room–and then announcing what we have on the altar, like “We honor the waters of this place, the watershed of Sausal Creek.”  I like bringing people to presence of the sacredness of our exact spot.

Post # 26
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mtnhoney:  My husband and I were married on Saturday (August 25th) we had mostly non pagans at the ceremony and many were devout Christians. Calling the directions can be done prior to the arrival of the guests. In the program we explaned the different parts of the ceremony that was new to our guests and their significance. Many of our guests mentioned how much they really loved the ceremony and were so greatful to have had the opportunty to witness it. There are many ways to add traditional pagan elements into the ritual so that they blend nicely and are not as in your face to the guests that are not on the path.

Post # 27
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

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@HBanan:  +1

Post # 28
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1789 posts
Buzzing bee

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@mandypop:  I agree

Post # 29
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My fiance and I are having a very traditional Christian ceremony–with scripture readings and very much having God present. (Probably one of the ceremonies you wouldn’t like) I understand that not everyone there is a believer but this is OUR ceremony and reflects what WE believe.   I think you should do the same—you’re not marrying your guests. You’re guests are watching the two of you get married to each other.  You’re ceremony should reflect the way you love eachother and the way you express that the best.  If it makes someone uncomfortable, well, it’s not like you’re asking them to get up and do certain things.  Hopefully they know you’re fatih and it’s not surprising that you’re choosing to do things in a different way.  I think it’s nice that you’re wanting to make your guests feel comfortable though, maybe you explain in a program, or before certain things what and why you’re doing them, so that guests understand the meaning.

Sometimes, I think people are freaked out about things that are different simply becuase they don’t understand them.

 

Post # 30
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Coming to this thread late, just wanted to say how much I appreciated Terryal’s comment.  For my first wedding, I was a Pagan marrying an atheist, and no God/gods of any kind were invited to the party.  In the years since my divorce, attending the weddings of both Pagan and Christian friends, I’ve come to appreciate how beautiful the idea of the convenant of marriage is.  And the basis of the idea is the same regardless of religion.  You’re making a sacred oath, not just signing a piece of paper that says your name changes and half his stuff is now yours. 

I’ve just gotten engaged to the most wonderful man in the universe and am starting to think about planning. (A little overwhelming, first time was a visit to a judge and then my folks through a party.  I didn’t have a lot to decide or plan!)  I’m currently a member of a Unitarian church, which welcomes both my beliefs and my future husband’s.  I’m really hoping to be married there, and to incorporate handfasting as part of the ceremony.  I think the Unitarian church setting will feel comfortable and welcoming to both his family and my own. 

Also – LOVE the spiral seating arrangement!

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