(Closed) How to cut bridesmaids due to money issues????

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Could you instead ask if they are willing to pay for their own lodging?

Post # 4
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Um not unless you want to come off completely rude. I think you could ask them to fund their own lodging and if they cannot then let them know you will most certainly understand. I don’t think there is a nice way to tell someone you can no longer afford for them to be apart of your day. That’s like telling someone they are being de-guested because you can’t afford their dinner.

Post # 5
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Is there a way you can ask for everyone to pay for their own? Or a portion? I certainly would not ask anyone to step down as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I just couldn’t. I would find a way to have them there by my side because that is what I had intended. You need to do the same. You can’t just *remove* people from your bridal party. This is a mess that you and your Fiance needs to get yourselves out of.

Post # 6
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Agree w/ PP, maybe have them all chip in something for lodging?

Or could you maybe rent a house for however many days/nights you’re needing? Look up vacation rentals & maybe that’s cheaper than renting a few hotel rooms.

Or maybe some of them could share rooms?

Post # 7
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

you can’t cut them.

Post # 9
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

was your wedding somewhere else that didn’t require an overnight stay before?  won’t all guests have to pay for lodging, regardless of whether or not they are in the bridal party?

 

Post # 10
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Could they all pay a portion of it? Even 25% of what their lodging costs would help even things out. I’m sure they could understand that if you’re covering a significant portion. Otherwise, could you find something cheaper?

Post # 11
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Mrs. Meowerson:Ooops! This was meant for OP.

 

OP: It would be ALOT worse if you told someone who you deemed special that you cannot *afford* to have them with you on your wedding day.

Post # 12
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

asking them to all pay for a portion of their lodging sounds like a good idea.

to answer your question, no, you can’t ask anyone to “step down” unless you want one less friend in the world… 

Post # 15
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You have a couple options:  get rid of the bridal party altogether, and have them pick up the tab for lodging.  I dont think anyone’s really expecting you to pick up the costs of lodging, to be honest.  If they can’t afford the lodging, then that’s their own personal decision, you know?

Post # 16
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I assume if they are “demoted” from bridesmaid to guest, they will have to pay for lodging anyway, so I think it’s better to just let them know that you can’t afford to pay for the lodging and not involve revoking the bridesmaidship in that discussion. 

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