Post # 1
Im really stressing about what to do with this.
Since we are only having 34 guests at the wedding, half of which or family and would be coming regardless, My previous idea of having 4 bridesmaids seems a bit silly. I would like to cut it down to only my maid of honor and the best man. My partner is fine with this.
The only issue is, i had already told my other 2 friends and sister in law to be that they could be my bridesmaids.
Honestly the other 3 bridesmaids I don’t feel close enough to really have them in the party, and it’s not like I am replacing them, I’m just not having bridesmaids essentially due to the size of the event.
I don’t know how to do this without stepping on anyones toes or ruining friendships. I’d like to think they would understand but I don’t know if they would.
Any ideas from bees?
Post # 2
I really don’t think you can do this without ruining friendships, especially if you tell them you’re “just not that close to them”
Post # 3
I think there will be hurt feelings if you tell them you’ve changed your mind about the number of bridesmaids you want.
If you decide that’s what you want to do though maybe they could do a reading at the ceremony?
Post # 4
I agree with ChristinaC598… is there a way you can give them a different role? I think they would understand and not feel slighted if you incorporated them somehow into the day in another way. Otherwise I would keep them as bridesmaids.
Post # 5
I think the fact that you’ve already asked sort of seals your fate with this one. I don’t think I’d feel very good having been asked to be someone’s bridesmaid and then having them tell me they didn’t need me for it anymore. Even if we weren’t close, it would be poor ettiquette in my eyes.
However, if you really feel strongly about it, tell them sooner than later. Sit down with each one and nicely explain, look we’re just going to have a maid of honor and a best man up with us since the wedding is so small. But you being there is important, so if you’d like to be involved in the wedding, I would like you to be. There may be some hurt feelings, but that’s inevitable. If you’re willing to deal with the fact that some of your friends may be angry, then do what you want.
Post # 6
GypsieFlower: You can have them be bridesmaids, get ready with you, have matching dresses, be in pictures etc but you can opt to not have them stand at the front with you. Have them walk in and sit in the front row, have your Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man stand at the front.
Post # 7
I think if you explain to them that you’ve really scaled down on the size of your wedding, and you’re only having a Maid/Matron of Honor and a best man, then they should be understanding.
My husband was asked to be a groomsmen, and the couple has since cancelled their big wedding in favor of a much smaller ceremony for financial reasons. We might not even be invited to their much much smaller wedding. Niether of us is in any way offended. We get how stressful and costly wedding planning is, and the last thing we want them to stress out about is keeping Darling Husband in the wedding party, or on their limited guest list.
Post # 8
I have to say that you can’t do this without hurting anyone. If it’s what you really want, you’ll have to come to terms that you will likely hurt someone in the process. Unfortunate, but that seems to be the reality when cutting out members you’ve already asked. Best of luck!
Post # 9
You could say you’re not having bridesmaids and call the two you want “witnesses” instead. Or, go with what MsGinkgo said, even without matching dresses.