- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Ugh! My SO has been getting on my last nerve lately. He is a great guy, through and through, but one of our biggest points of contention is his messy/disorganized lifestyle whereas I am a complete type-A clean freak.
Here are just a few examples of what he does:
– leaves cabinent doors and drawers open after getting something out. Occasionally even leaves the fridge door wide open.
– Opens cereal boxes and leaves them open with the bag open in the middle of the counter.
– Takes food out of the fridge and does not put it back in – leaves it to rot on the counter (I have had to throw out so many bottles of milk and other items bc of this).
– He will open packages (ie take wrappers off of things) and just leave the plastic packaging in the middle of the counter or in the SINK. Even though the trash can is right there he does not throw it out.
– The other day he made a bag of popcorn and left the empty bag in the sink. WTF?
– When he takes his clothes off, he leaves them in the middle of the floor. Sometimes he changes in the living room, so not only do I have clothes strewn over the floor in the bedroom, but in the bathroom and living room as well.
– Can never, ever find his keys/wallet/cell phone etc b/c he leaves them in his pants which could be in any number of places in the house.
– Leaves lights on all the time.
Ladies, I have tried EVERYTHING! I have sat down with him and told him how much mess bothers me and how I need him to help out and be a little more conscientous. Maybe he does for a day, but then he goes back to his old ways. I bought a special bowl by the door for him to put his keys/phone in. He sometimes uses it, but not all the time. I put up signs in the kitchen, reminding him to close cabinents and put food away. This worked a little bit. I eventually took them down. I will say, it has improved but he still leaves stuff open or out 2 out of 5 times.
I tried picking up after him but it got exhausting. Then I tried not doing it and just throwing all his stuff in one big pile. But I was still having to move it and staring at the pile in our bedroom got on my nerves.
It’s not like he doesn’t care – he does. Once in awhile, he takes the initiative to clean on his own. If we cook a big meal, sometimes he will do dishes. He is just very forgetful and disorganized. He doesn’t do it to be mean or because he thinks it is up to me to do it. He just doesn’t feel the need to do it. I HATE the feeling of living in squalor, though. And I get resentful either doing it all myself, or having to nag him to do stuff fifty times a day, which usually doesn’t work and just pisses both of us off.
IS THERE ANY SOLUTION FOR US? It is so stupid. In the big scheme of things, I feel like this is such a SMALL issue. He is wonderful in every other way……which is why I feel like I shouldn’t care about this stuff but I can just see myself, after six months living together, already getting constantly annoyed by stuff, I can only imagine after years and years and with a couple kids thrown in the mix. I hate the feeling of living in mess and just want a clean and organized house without having to spend 2 hrs a day to achieve it (yes that is what it takes for a one room apt, imagine a whole hosue?) AHHH! It is driving me crazy. I need some constructive ways to deal with this issue and nip it in the bud now before it gets any worse!
Am I being ridiculous that these things get to me? I know they are stupid, but I have lived alone for the better part of the last ten years and am so used to having a nice, organized, clean space – it makes me feel at peace mentally – that when these things happen 10 times a day over a period of weeks, months…I feel like I am starting to go insane! help!!
ETA: I do not mind cleaning. I like cleaning, and would be happy to take on most of the housework (he helps me do a big clean like once every two weeks – but I do the daily stuff). It just makes my life extra hard by his being so careless and leaving stuff out. I would not mind doing dishes, cleaning counters, etc, but I feel like he just makes all this extra work for me.