(Closed) How to Deal with a rude mother

posted 7 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We can’t change other people’s behavior. The only thing we can change is our reaction.

People who say mean hurtful things about other people are still in the childlike stage where they think if they put you down, it somehow raises them up.

Your challenge is to learn to not respond. You can say that you find her remarks hurtful and that you will be unable to continue the conversation if she is going to behave that way.

A trick- imagine yourself covered head to toe in a bulletproof veil. Nothing can penetrate that veil, so nothing anyone says or does can hurt you. When she says hurtful things- just”think of the veil”.

Post # 4
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry your mom is being so sucky.  I’ve learned (through a 30+ year process) to just ignore the bitter nastiness that flows from her mouth at times.

It’s not easy, it still hurts sometimes, but I know she’s just being hurtful and there is no truth to her caustic words.

Sometimes I think it’s just that she’s jealous and that fuels it. 

Keep your chin up and do your best to ignore it. 

Hugs!

Post # 5
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have a mom like this.  Sometimes I think they don’t mean it and they are really trying to protect us or so what they are thinking either way…it hurts.  I am sorry.  I have stopped asking my mother’s opinion…never ask a question you don’t want the answer to and for us that means from.  I am sorry you are going through what I have been geoing through especially at time when a bride needs her mother the most. 

Remember your fiance loves you for you and nothing could or can ever change that.  You are a beautiful and loved woman…ignore the negativity and take it with a grain of salt.  You are getting married! Smile and embrace it!! 🙂

Sending a HUGE HUG!

Post # 6
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

As a full figured girl (Size 14) I am so sorry that you have to deal with that, esp. coming from your MOTHER! Ugh! Bless your heart and you WILL make a beautiful bride and wife!

Lets prove her WRONG! =)

I agree with the reaction bit that someone said. Make your boundaries known. And there is nothing wrong with that. I believe that is apart of “becoming a woman” too, setting our boundaries.

I cant imagine being in your shoes, but I wish you the very best of luck! You might want to limit your bridal dress shoping with her (if you havent purchased yet!) take someone(s) who are supportive and will tell you the honest truth but with love and class! =)

Post # 7
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

A size 8 or 10 is not big by any means. Honestly, the best way to deal with it is probably just to keep telling yourself your mom is totally wrong and she must have some deep rooted self image problems to say that to you and it has nothing to do with you I am sure. The other thing you could do is tell her that she is not included in wedding related activities if she does not change her behavior. That only works if she wants to be part of it though. 

I am sure you are going to look awesome on your wedding day and your mom is just ridiculous to say things like that. 

Could also remind her that soon you will have or may have your own kids and you are becoming very concerned that her image comments to you would be harmful to a child’s development…hint hint to her that you may not have the kids around her so much…that may stop it dead in its tracks! grandchildren card seems to be always strong 

Post # 8
Member
30 posts
Newbee

@klosen: I’m sorry she is being so mean? But I’ll try ti ask this without being rude…is she bigger than you? If so, she may be jealous. Also a size 8 being muscular is great!! That is not fat. Dont let others determine your happiness because they want to be rude. 

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