Post # 1
My bridal party was meant to be simple: a matron of honor, a maid of honor and a bridesmaid. All three have a special meaning in my life and our couple as well and I wanted each of them to have a special title and share those moments with me.
Well back in February I went dress shopping with my aunt in law. Her grandaughter was with her and she is 12 (will be 13 by the time of the wedding). Since she was and I knew she wasn’t as interested in the bridal stuff i told her she should ask to try some of the bridesmaid dresses there.
Well she did, and my aunt in law ended up spending more time with her than with me at times. I kept it cool because I needed her help (at the time I was condisering the option of getting my dress made and she used to be a seamstress).
Well at some point she asked me who my bridesmaid were. I told her and then she said: "Oh but it would be so great to have D (her grandaughter) be one too." Well D was right there, I felt trapped and all I could say was "Well D, would you like to be one?"
I wish I had had the reflex to just say NO.
I don’t mind her being in the bridal party, but then again, I want my 3 bridesmaid to be special. I know they’ll be there to help me. I can’t see D bringing anyhelp. I haven’t talked with either the aunt or the grandmother. Yeah I’m playing the ostrich with her head in the ground right now.
I do not know what to do in all honesty.
Given that I was stupid enough to ask her I feel like I should find something for her to do but I just don’t know what. Any title I could give her or idea of what she could do?
She is a bit old to be a flower girl and we are not having flowers thrown around anyway.
Post # 3
You can make her a junior bridesmaid. I’ve heard of this, but I don’t really know what role she would have in the wedding other than just walking out behind the bridesmaid…
Post # 4
Oh great. Thank you. I didn’t even know that was an existing title.
I went on the knot and found some information in case someone else is interested in this. http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=AI91221184725
That looks like a good option. I could have her give out the programs so she gets something special to do.
Any one else has suggestions?
Post # 6
There’s some info on junior bridesmaids on the wiki!
Other options include making her an usherette:
Post # 7
Programs is what I was going to suggest too- I had my cousins do that
Post # 8
I was a junior bridesmaid for my aunt’s wedding a long time ago. It was just an honorary title to make sure I wasn’t left out. I had no official duties, nor did I desire to have any.
Post # 9
Oh dear, you got sucked into the family guilt one-two punch. Take it as a lesson learned and be prepared for other whammies because it’s bound to happen.
Don’t you find it absolutely funny that your wedding is the time that everyone feels they have a right to insert some sort of priority.
She’s pretty young, so I think you can get away with letter her wear a similar colored dress and assigning her a duty (like programs or guest book/gift table), but not having her walk or stand up at the ceremony w/ the "real" BMs.
But stand strong! Don’t be forced to include her in the primary things if you don’t want to, like the shower, pictures, etc. You can always use her age as an excuse.
Post # 10
Thanks everyone. I think I’m definitely going to make her a Junior Bridesmaid, age was it’s what she is anyway after all.
She does look older and she is well tall and not on the thin side so she will likely have to wear some adult size gowns.
I’ll probably make her give the programs.
As far as the pictures I don’t really mind, I’ll probably have some with just my 3 bridemaids and then we’ll see. I can’t imagine her involved in the more adult parts of the even if they do happen anyway, so I will stay strong, I promise.
And SoCalBeachGirl, yes you pinpointed it: guildtrip. And I do hate how much people think their opinion matters in your even when you didn’t ask for it. I’m getting better at telling people it’s our wedding so thank you I’ll think about it (maybe.