(Closed) How to deal with an unsupportive MOB? This might get long.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@Sugar_and_Spice:  I know she is your mother, but if she does not want to act like the MOB then d not give her the privilege. People only have the power over us that we give them. So involve her when you can, but not for anything you are excited about or details you love. Having someone rain on your parade is not going to help the situation. Focus on the positive, and find someone who is supportive, and a great sounding board. You need that mother figure, but the support and cheering section does not necessarily have to come from the biological one. 


Good luck. I hope this gets better. 

Post # 4
11 posts
  • Wedding: March 2014

Totally agree with @trainergirl Don’t let her bring you down. This is your day.

Post # 5
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@trainergirl:  +1000

Do not spend anymore effort with anyone weighing you down, whether it’s family or not. Keep your wedding planning to yourself.

Post # 6
14 posts
  • Wedding: August 2014

Going through the same thing right now. Such a relief to read that post and know someone else is going through the same thing. I’ve stopping giving my mum the power now. It’s our day sweet 

Post # 9
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m sorry your mother is like this, my mom is very similar.  But she went the other way, trying to be more involved than what I liked. Having opinions, and then when I told her stuff she would say “I thougth you said you weren’t doing that”. *eyeroll*


Just don’t do things with her.  That’s all I can say.  It saved my sanity.  And if you do, be IN CONTROL.  When I took her to my florist, my florist knew up front my mom was coming and she was insane.  So, my florist focused 100% on me, and actually told a story about her telling mothers “it’s your daughter’s wedding, you don’t get a say”.

Post # 10
1957 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@trainergirl:  completely agree.

First things first, I read through your second comment and I am so disgusted that someone could treat their child like that. I mean, are you serious? If she’s going to be like that – your grandmother included – do you even want her there? Obviously you want to answer yes, but how can someone who’s supposed to love you unconditionally treat you that way? I am so sorry you’re being put through this.

Do not include her in any other wedding appointments or anything like that. She doesn’t deserve to be a part of something so special. If she were my mother, I would tell her to her face I don’t want her there if she’s going to react that way. I’m so sorry but that makes me so upset.

Post # 11
2 posts
  • Wedding: November 2013

I feel you fellow bee! I am getting married in November, the day after Thanksgiving no less and my mother is the same. Luckily there are numberous states between us, so when she makes comments or suggestions that offend I can get off the phone quickly. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect me and make wish our relationship wasn’t better. But I’m in my forties getting married after being w/my Fiance for over 12 years. There is no love lost between the two of them, but she’s not the one marrying him. To be honest this is definitely not the only situation we don’t agree upon. But like the other bees say, involve her as little as you possibly can. Share with her details if she asks, and definitely take time to find ways for stress relief. I never thought planning a wedding could really be as stressful as they said, but issues I have never considered have come up! I wish well!

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