(Closed) How to deal with arrogant fiance?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What does he do that is “arrogant”? Has he disrespected you in any way? Has he taken you for granted? You’re engaged, which is a form of committment in and of itself. Is there any reason why you can’t work out your differences and discuss this issue in a calm manner, without threatening to leave/move out?

Post # 5
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Does he have any good qualities that you love?

Post # 6
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Nope doesn’t change. Friend is married to a guy like this–total nightmare. Don’t stay with him. I will never be about you, only him. When you need him most, he will think about how it impacts him. When you have a child, he will get jealous and start to make it about himself. 

The reason he doesnt beleive you is because you aren’t believable. You only half moved out. If you want him to believe, then actually do it. Move out, block his number, unfriend him, etc.  But be ready to stick to your guns. The worst thing you can do is pretend to breakup with him in an attempt the shock him into changing. (BTW- he might try to win you back and pretend to change for a little while, but he will revert back)

Leave, you’ll be happier

Post # 7
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

you leave him because you said you want to end it. why are you trying to make it work just because he won’t accept you breaking up with him? That’s crazy – if you want to leave, you leave! He doesn’t have to accept it but you don’t have to stay either. Pack your things and move out. Then block all forms of communication.

Post # 9
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Leave! He hasn’t change so why do you expect this time to be any different? He has shown you over and over who he is and you still ask how to change him….YOU CAN’T and HE WON’T!

Post # 10
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsWBS:  This. My ex was like this, and when I finally broke up with him, he didn’t believe me. I just kept moving out until I was finally done.

Post # 11
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@esplanfreedom:  If you have been with this man for a while and he is unwilling to change he probably isn’t going to change. Once a person decides to be a certain way and he is unwilling to listen to the person he is supposed to be marrying, he isn’t going to change unless he chooses to and/or goes to counseling to deal with his issues. And the fact that he has doubts about marrying you is a telling sign of what is to come. I wouldn’t want to get married to someone who has doubts about being with me and marrying me. Then he will probably resent you for it because he married you even though he had doubts. I think you are wise to have moved out. And if I were you I would end it, there are a lot of fish in the sea and you deserve so much better than an arrogant prick. 

Post # 12
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

You asked ‘How do you get through to an arrogant person?’  Short answer, you don’t.  He would want to have to change, and change is a long and hard process.   You don’t mention how old he is, but if he is over the age of 25, I would personally say that the chances of him changing such a fundamental aspect of his personality is less than zero.

It is obvious from what you’ve posted that you don’t like the way he interacts with you – or your friends.  As other posters have noted, this isn’t going to improve with time.  Just move out and move on.  

Post # 15
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your Fiance sounds like my ex husband. Notice the EX there? Yeah, I doubt very much he will change. Mine never did and STILL talks to me this way even though we’ve been divorced for 4 years and I am remarried. I would run if I were you.

Post # 16
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@esplanfreedom:  I think it’s time to realize that the relationship has gone its course.  It no longer works for you.


You can just leave permanently.  Don’t get so hung up in trying to get him to see this.  He may never.  People can change behaviors IF THEY WANT TO, but it is pretty impossible to change the core characteristics.  Arrogance goes into the core characteristics category.


I do not see any reason to stay in this relationship one more day!

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