- 2 years ago
I’m of the camp that bridesmaids only need to get the dress and show up. And yes, that’s all I expected of mine when I got married. For the dress, I picked the color and length, that’s it. I let my Maid/Matron of Honor pick the style she felt comfortable in and could afford. I did not dictate makeup, shoes, or hair. My Maid/Matron of Honor was able to make the bachelorette party, but was limited in her ability to participate or discuss the wedding because she’s just gone back to school, and I totally understood! I would never let her inability to participate in some things ruin our over a decade friendship
I think that today’s culture is much more materialistic, narcissistic, and entitled. Obviously, this isn’t the case for everyone, but we see and hear about brides dictating dresses that are hugely expensive, dictating styles that bridesmaids may not feel comfortable in due to style, size constraints (or breast size), wanting to kick people out of the wedding if they get pregnant or get a tattoo (I know someone in real life who kicked a bridemaid out for getting a tattoo), expecting bridesmaids to not only attend, but also pay for and plan multiple parties, having trips that require travel, time off of work, hotel stays, and money, etc. My husband was recently in a wedding where the suit rental was more than actually buying an expensive suit, there was a bridal shower, a couples shower, a bachelor weekend out of town, an engagement party, a celebratory dinner, etc. I know another bride that had 5 bridal showers!
People take things too far in the interest of celebrating themselves, without ever considering that everyone elses’ lives don’t center around them. People have families, jobs, and set incomes to consider.
However, OP, I’m not saying you’re that bride. It doesn’t sound like you are, but I think the Bees are just mindful that some people are and that influences responses.