(Closed) How to deal with catcalling?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

just ignore. 

It probably wouldn’t hurt to carry some pepper spray just in case you come across a weirdo.

Definitely do not say anything to them.

Post # 4
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would ignore it. If you react, it might provoke them to be more annoying or worrisome. If they get to close too you or start following you a significant distance, I would go into a building full of people (like a cafe or something), but as long as they keep a good distance away, I would just roll my eyes under my sunglasses and keep walking.

Post # 5
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would say don’t say anything, it could put you in a dangerous situation and might make things worse. You don’t want them to follow you to work and wait for you to get off or anything super creepy like that.

On the other hand, my girl friend was on the metro (crowded area) when some guy started catcalling her and she turned around and said something like, Oh my gosh yes, would you like to go out on a date? I love steak and lobster and would love to have a free meal. Shut him up real fast before she escaped on a train. Sometimes I just give them the glare of death, but mostly I just roll my eyes so that I don’t provoke anyone. Makes me furious that I can’t do anything, but it the end it’s usually not worth it.

Post # 6
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@GroovyHippieChick:  +1 I have pepper spray on my key ring. 

I can’t even walk from the building to my car when I’m leaving work without being honked at or whistled at, but I don’t have to deal with anything as bad as you do!

Post # 7
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m sorry that you found yourself in such an uncomfortable situation. In cases like that I think the safest thing is what you chose to do, which is ignore them. I guess it’s somewhat flattering, but you also never know how a group will react.

Darling Husband recently got me can of pepper spray to keep in my pocket for when I’m coming home late. Our neighborhood isn’t dangerous, but there are some questionable characters walking around sometimes. I’ve also taken a couple self-defense courses at his insistence just in case something ever happened.

IMO you’re only giving them power if you acknowledge them – being ignored by a pretty girl is enough to bruise any guy’s ego.

Post # 9
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

just ignore them.  it’s probably the safest thing to do.  luckily you were near work.  if you feel like that again and not near home or work, i would suggest walking into the closest store or cafe or something.  even an office building lobby if that’s what’s around. 

i don’t know why guys think this action is appealing to woman.  i’m glad you’re ok.

Post # 10
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I ignore shout-outs from passing cars (yeah I cannot believe this actually happens either).  If it’s someone on the street or a couple of guys (never dealt with a large group thing) that make a random comment, I ignore it.  If they say hi, I say hello back but I keep it pretty short/cold.  I don’t try to invite conversation but I don’t ignore a person who says hi to me on the street either.

I’m actually relieved when I get “Hi, you’re <adjective for attractive> do you have a boyfriend?” because I’ll say, “Thank you but actually I’m married” and that ends that haha.

Post # 11
Member
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would definitely not say anything, but don’t ignore your gut feeling either… I would start carrying pepper spray and try to take a different route (walk on the other side of the street?) if at all possible.  And honestly if I felt that shaken up about it I would carry an umbrella or something with me, inconspicuous but it’s something you COULD use for self defense if you needed it.  Or maybe get a walking buddy?  And you could try talking on your cell phone, to an actual person as well, that might help deter them from escalating.

Worst case scenario, if it becomes a regular thing from these guys, call the cops.  There has to be a law protecting you from that kind of behavior… or at the very least it’s a public nuisance!

 

Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I never give into people yelling, cussing, or trying to get my attention.  I’m too chicken for it and fear that my giving in will only make it worse.  I’ll never forget when my mom’s ex-bf got out his car one day to fight another guy in a car because of something that happened.  As for your situation, I would definitely carry pepper spray and be ready to take action if needed.

Post # 13
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

In college one time someone yelled slut at me out there window (car full of college kids). I proceeded to catch up to the car (it’s a walking city with lots of stop lights) and slammed my fist against their window and started cussing at them. When they drove off and my adreneline died I realized how absolutely stupid that was. My point being even though you want to tell jerks to stop it isn’t a good idea.

Post # 14
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I usually smile and say thanks!  Or if some guy is hanging out of his car yelling, I wae back.  I don’t know why.  Of course if I felt physically threatened that would be different.  My little town is pretty low key and safe though.

Post # 15
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I used to yell in college or flip the bird, but now I just ignore. My blood boils less.

Post # 16
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@msdragon:  I’m more of a flight than fight person myself. Self-preservation and that whole thing.

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