(Closed) How to deal with depression and family? Does anyone else feel this way?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Bali

I have suffered from depression for my entire adult life.

The things that I have learned:

1. I need to stay on my medication. Probably for life and at some stage, through pregnancy. Some people just have brain pathways that need a little something extra. I am one of those people. It took me a long time to be at peace with that. If I had diabetes or high blood pressure I would take medication. This is no different.

2. Surrounding yourself with people that are good for you is just as important as medication.

3. Be kind to yourself and put your needs first.

This includes distancing yourself from toxic people. I obviously don’t want to say anything bad about your mother, but her behaviour sounds toxic to you. It sounds like this is her issue, not yours – and you don’t have to own it. I think the way you have responded is perfect. You don’t owe anyone any explanations. I also think that not going to the engagement party if it will make you anxious is ok. You don’t owe your mother and explanation. If anything, perhaps a chat with your brother will help (and a nice gift).


I hope you start to feel better soon. 🙂

Post # 4
51 posts
Worker bee

Depression is an illness but there’s still people that will deny the severity of it. People who have never had it think it’s just normal sadness. I’ve had it in my lifetime and if I’m not careful it can return. I surround myself with good, generous, and positive people. From what you describe, your mother is a very toxic person to be around. She doesn’t help your condition in the slightest. I think in this particular situation, you should talk to your brother about attending and not your mom. She should be kept out of it completely. If she tries to bring it up, you’ll just have to say ‘mom, we’ve discussed this and I’ve made my decision. Let’s talk about something else. If you want to continue talking about this, I will have to leave (or end the conversation, depending if you are in person or on the phone). Then stick to your guns! If she continues, just say ‘mom I have to go now. Bye.’ Don’t feel guilty either. You are putting up healthy boundaries. I also really think talking to your brother will be helpful too. You’ll have to remember that it’s not his fault if your mom puts him on a pedestal. I don’t know your relationship with him, but look at him with empathy. 🙂

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