- 4 years ago
Hey bees. I’m looking for some sage wisdom regarding how to deal with parents while they are divorcing, espcially how to handle things when you are an adult (and they feel the need to act like children).
My parents are finally divorcing after 19 years of marriage and 3 seperations. My mom married my step-dad (basically dad because bio dad deuced never to be seen again) when they were 26 and 23 after only 6 months of knowing each other. They immediately got pregnant and about a year and a half into the marriage they packed all of us and moved to Texas from California. My mom has since spent every year sinking further and further into a depression and anxiety filled hole that she has made no attempt to get out of. My dad became a police officer and was never home, thinking that as long as he provided income that was all he had to do. First seperation was from him cheating. Second was from my mom being tired of him being gone and never having any interest in our family. Third was right before christmas 2012 when my dad said he loved her but wasn’t happy and wanted out (he already had a girlfriend who was a year older than me when he did this). They reconciled last august (which I called bs because he was going to have to pay a lot in childsupport for my lil brother and spousal support to my mom). My little brother turned 18 last month and not even a week later my mom texts me to let me know they are going to divorce. Go figure. I’m not upset about this in anyway. I’ve accepted their marriage was a sham a long time ago.
Anyways, every time they have seperated my mom has used me as her best friend and told me way more than I needed to know. I finally told her that I couldn’t be her friend and it wasn’t fair for me the last time they seperated and started the divorce process. Everytime my dad does this, he parties and spends crazy money and totally ignores my mom and my little brother (which isn’t knew…he’s done that to him his entire life).
I’m trying to stay neutral even though I’ve always had an issue with my dad and my mom drives me f’in crazy. My grandparents have never been a big fan of my dad, so things are awkward for everyone right now. My mom is even texting my SO and bitching about my dad to him because she knows I don’t want to hear it.
How have you guys dealt with parent drama and them acting like children? Tbh, I’m not looking forward to any family gatherings or even when we get engaged and married. Mom will think my grandparents are judging her (they have each been divorced, they can’t say shit). My dad can’t come to my grandparent’s house and will feel unwelcomed anywhere. My bro and I will feel like we have to take sides for someone. And my poor SO and I will be in the middle, expected to please everyone.
Other than completely ignore them, anyone know how to handle pissy divorced parents?