(Closed) How to deal with effects of MIL smoking on baby?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 61
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

waterg :  Not that it matters because you CLEARLY aren’t in the frame of mind to listen, but smoking isn’t as simple as “washing it out”. It literally seeps through your pores. You are inhaling the tobacco and nicotine, all of those chemicals are processed through your body and you guessed it– through your skin, hair, nails, etc. It is almost an impossible smell to get rid of, because you “are what you eat” in this situation. In your case, your diet consists of cancer-causing chemicals that you release into the air, and also ingest into your body. It’s not only impossible, but ignorant to think that you can smoke, wash your hands, change a jacket and the smell not be on you. It is quite literally coming out of you like body odor does.

Post # 62
Member
913 posts
Busy bee

btob17 :  It is her place because it is her child. Guarding her baby’s health and well-being is priority #1, so she absolutely gets to lay down the rules protecting the baby from the chemicals Mother-In-Law is producing (carcinogens and, yes, toxic chemicals that are dangerous to humans generally and especially children). If Mother-In-Law wants to keep smoking, fine, but she needs to understand that the parents make the rules about limiting their baby’s exposure to her dangerous habit.

OP, others have given great suggestions about how to talk to your Mother-In-Law about this and delineate your boundaries. Be kind but firm. Baby’s health comes first.

Post # 63
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d be more concerned about her turning her spare room into a nursery… my son is 15months old and he’s never spent the night away from his parents and I can’t imagine letting anyone babysit him overnight until he’s about 3. But that doesn’t mean I’m right, it just means it’s the way I feel.. so if my Mother-In-Law had tried turning her spare room into a nursery, I’d have kindly explained that there was really no point in her doing that.

Regarding the smoking, I’d base it off how often you’re going to see her. If she’s going to be holding the baby once a month for a short while, personally I would only advocate that she wash her hands thoroughly before holding the baby. If she was going to be spending more time with the baby, I’d also want her to be wearing a clean shirt and not have smoked for 1hr before baby-time.

Post # 64
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

theeebride007 :  I’m not in denial at all I just know my smoking doesn’t effect my kids if you ever met them then you would understand. You know nothing about me so if I want to disagree with you I will 

Post # 65
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

fromatoz :  that’s your opinion I’m allowed to disagree with it. Don’t see why you feel the need to try and ram it down my throat like it’s going to make me agree with you 😂

Post # 66
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

amanda3334455 :  You don’t plan on letting your child stay one night away from you until they’re 3?! Please do not do this, my SIL had the same rule regarding no overnight sleeping when my niece was younger and she has turned into a NIGHTMARE and is so dependent on mommy. My SIL recently admitted it was a bad idea raising her that way, because my niece is having a terrible time adjusting to school, sleepovers, being away from my SIL for a few hours. It’s healthy for both mom and baby to get a break every so often.

Post # 67
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

waterg :  “that’s your opinion I’m allowed to disagree with it”

My opinion is that you’re being willfully ignorant.

The fact is that if you smoke cigarettes, you smell like cigarette smoke

Post # 68
Member
452 posts
Helper bee

waterg :  the point is that you don’t KNOW that it has no effect on them, because you do not have a crystal ball that tells you the health of your children throughout the rest of their lives. 

 

The only thing any of us have to go on is studies/research. Granted you have a few people in your life that may not have been affected from second/third hand smoke (yet), but most people choose to make decisions based on larger sample sizes, hence the many scientific studies that say how harmful second/third degree smoke is, especially on developing children.

 

i genuinely wish nothing but health and happiness for both your and OP’s families and children, but you need to open your eyes.

Post # 69
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

fromatoz :  my opinion is your putting your nose where it’s not wanted. My original post was to let op know another perspective I have no interest in talking to you

Post # 70
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

yorp127 :  my dad was around smoker that smoked all around him most of his life and he’s fine so I won’t have people laying into me about my children who I do not smoke around! My original post was to let op know another perspective I have no interest in talking to you

Post # 71
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

fromatoz :  Truth! You can even tell which people at the gym smoke (if you have an incredibly sensitive sense of smell like I do), because it seeps out of the body through the sweat glands and onto the grips, and seats, and other gym equipment. 

Post # 72
Member
452 posts
Helper bee

waterg :  once again, you’re going off of a sample size of ONE person. Rational people make decisions based on studies with sample sizes of THOUSANDS. Best of luck to you.

Post # 73
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

waterg :  you may know that your kids are fine now. You may know that some people turn out as adults. You may know that you don’t smell the cigarettes on yourself.

The general public knows from much research that second and third hand smoke is pretty bad for kids. We know that effects do range with some kids being much worse off than others.

However….

You do NOT know if your kids will continue to be healthy in the future. You do NOT  know if they will be like many of the other kids exposed to smoke with severe health problems as an adult. You do NOT know your kids future health. You do NOT know if non-smokers can smell it on you. You do NOT know if your kids teachers can smell the smoke on their jackets. 

You should try acknowledging that your kids future health is unknown, and could possibly be negatively damaged by your smoking. 

Post # 74
Member
12309 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

As far as I’m concerned there is no such thing as too careful on anything that potentially affects the health and safety of a baby or child. 

And yes, effects can be cumulative over long periods of time. 

OP, I think you do owe Future Mother-In-Law a heads up on this since she it is always possible that she may want or need to plan ahead, not only to quit, but to clean the carpets and furniture. 

It would be a deal breaker under the current circumstances.

Post # 75
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

chocochai :  My original post was to let op know another perspective I have no interest in talking to you

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