- 7 days ago
I am 30 years old and growing up was incredibly close to my cousin. We were like sisters we never had. I never thought she wouldn’t be in my life… until a fall out 3 years ago. She blames me, I blame her. She basically wasn’t there when I went through an awful breakup and whilst she got married, my world fell apart. She was completely wrapped up in herself and her husband and was barely in contact.
Over the years, i’ve accepted things between us won’t ever be the same again and too much time has passed. I deleted her from facebook about a year ago as I didn’t think she should know my business. My problem is this…
My best friend i’ve known since high school and always been close, although shes since started a family (i’m single) and have less in common than ever, we make time to see each other and stay in touch on a regular basis. My friend has a large family and friend circle. My cousin, on the other hand, has only a small immediate family and husband with no real friends to speak of… I was her only real friend.
Because I was once closest to my best friend and cousin, there were a few occasions I arranged nights out for the 3 of us. My cousin and friend liked each other and added each other on facebook but nothing much more.
Since myself and my cousin fell out, she hasn’t wished me Happy Birthday, liked any facebook posts etc but always does for my friend. I’ve noticed more recently, after 3 years of no contact, that she’ll be liking, commenting and wishing my friend Happy Birthday. I find this bizarre, as my friend is MY friend, but its as if shes trying to prove a point? That we don’t get along, but my friend isn’t siding? I get that I can’t tell them not to be friends… but kinda feeling like just because my cousin met my friend twice years ago and has no real friends of her own (and especially after the fall out between myself and her) why is she trying to get more friendly with somebody she knows is close to me? My friend doesn’t seem totally against being friends with my cousin and still has her a facebook friend, which again, I can’t control.
It makes me feel uncomfortable knowing they could be talking behind my back and makes me want to distance from my friend. On the other hand, why should I when shes always been my friend first and close to me? I was also part of her wedding party a few years ago.
I don’t understand the ramping up of contact from my cousin to my friend. I wonder if its genuine or to be spiteful towards me, posting an elaborate Happy Birthday, for example to my friends facebook wall recently maybe in the hopes I see it?
They were never close, only ‘sort of’ friends because of the connection through me. I just don’t get why my cousin, feels the need to get close to somebody she knows is my best friend. The whole thing feels abit weird.
How should I deal with this?