Post # 1
so when we got engaged and up until about 2 months ago my mothers mother and i were on good terms. one night totally out of the blue she sent me the worst e mail i have ever received saying i stole all my moms stuff out of the house (my mom passed in december and i could move everything then so i hired movers to put it into storage so when the bank took the house they wouldnt take everything to the dump) my relationship is fake and i dont love my FIs daughter and that we are getting divorced and ive disgraced her family and it just goes on and on and ends in by the way i put you and kenzie (my daughter) in the will for a dollar so eat that you money hungry b****….sooooo i assumed shes not coming to the wedding.i found out yesterday my dads mom received a call and she managed to talk some sence into my mothers mother and she expressed that she didnt want to come to the wedding because i would put her in the back. which i would never have done.
so heres my problem. i still have not received her rsvp and fi and i really dont want her to be there but everyone is saying she is probably going to come but dont know for sure. im sure as hell not going to call her to find out but if she shows up she will be in the back since im not giving her seats if they will be empty.
what should i do? i really dont want her to be at the wedding but id have to call her to tell her that and ya know im not up for getting cussed out this month…theres too much other stuff happening for me to want to deal with her. i really dont want the relationship with her back unless she is willing to appologize and tell everyone the truth (shes a gossip, after my mom passed i had people calling me that i didnt even know saying my grandmother gave them my phone number!) so i know she told everyone what was in the e mail.
Post # 3
That is horrible thing to be going through. First the lost of your mother and second the lost of the relationship with your mothers mother. There are many things that you can do. Either ignore the situation and see her at your wedding, ignore the situation and invite her to the wedding, talk to her and invite/exclude her from your big day. which one to choose? If i were you I would go ahead and have a heart-felt talk with her then decide if its really that important for her to be there or not. Im not quiet sure how your with relationship with her was in the past. You have to be the one to determine what role she has played in your life. Would it be important to you to have her in your big day. I dont want you to be surprised/mad or let it ruin your day because she showed up. e.i. uninvited guest. You sent her an invitation so she might think that she is invited even though you dont want her to go.
The sooner you get this situation resolved the better.
Best of luck!
Post # 4
I would return the email with your one last “say”
I would tell her what you told us. That you don’t know where she is coming from. That your mom’s stuff is safe in a storage unit so the bank wouldnt send it to the garbage. You are sorry she feels that way, but you are hurt and as a result that until she apologizes she is not welcome at your wedding. You want only people that love and support you and your relationship and until she shows otherwise, she is not one of those people.
Then after that, since you said you dont care about a relationship, I would not respond to anymore letters or emails that are negative at all. I would also tell your venue that if they see her to please let her know kindly that she is not allowed.
And I am so sorry for the situation. Weddings make people really emotional for good and bad.
Post # 5
@lefeymw: agree with everything she said.
It never ceases to amaze me the craziness weddings bring out in people
Post # 6
i called my grandpa after the e mail and told him everything is safe and not going to the dump and he totally understands. my grandma is crazy. like bat shit crazy and refuses to beleive it. my mom (who was a socail worker) tried to talk to her and to her drs and everything but no one can make her take the meds. i found out today my grandmas dad died monday so im hoping her seeing my grandpa go through everything i went though will bring her to her sences. im not holding my breath though. im thinking next week after the funeral and everything ill text my grandpa and see if he can call me. i really dont want to talk to my granma. at all. ever. the hateful things she said not just to me but everyone she has talked to that called me is all lies.
losing her relation ship isnt going to bother me as long as she keeps to her self and quits calling my dad and his side of the family. i told myself a long time ago im not going to hunt down rsvps and shes one i dont plan on hunting. if my grandpa wants to come i would like that but i know he wont be able to get away from my grnama for the weekend.
i think if i can get him and her away from eachother for a bit then him and i can sit and talk. he is the level headed one. im sure hes the reason my grandma hasnt tried to call the police on me (she told someone she did)