- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
Hi everyone, i really need some advice. I will apoligize now if its super long. My SO and I have been together practically 2 years (2 years on May 22 yay!) and we have been ring shopping together for the past few weeks. I’ve been going mostly with my mom and my best friend ring shopping since his schedule and mine don’t really allow us a lot of time together during normal business hours but we have had a chance to go and look together a little bit.
My best friend (who got engaged at Christmas) and I had been shopping twice this week and I took her to see a ring a Kohls that my SO and I both really liked (1 because it was amazingly beautiful; both intricate and simple at the same time and 2 because it was a great price). It was what most people would consider small and some might even say it looks like a cocktail ring (which my mother did say before she saw it in person). It is only 5/8 of a carat but it looks so pretty on my finger. When I showed it to my friend she brushed it off and told me I didn’t have to settle for something smaller than what I really wanted just because I want a ring. (When I was with my ex i had told her i would accept nothing less than the size that my mom had and I was with my ex for over 5 years without a proposal… we were both young and immature and the lack of commitment in all areas of life eventually ended the relationship oh well… im better off with my soulmate now anyway) Then we ventured to the mall, and into Littman’s Jewelers, where my SO refuses to even go into with me because we had a big issue with them replacing a peice he bought me for christmas when stones kept falling out. We found a ring that basically fits what I want in a ring and what my SO wans (which are not really the same thing) and it is a great way to combine what we both want into one peice. But it is significantly more expensive than the Kohls ring.
So I took my mom to see both the Kohls ring and the Littman’s ring and I thought she would hate both, but she actually liked both. She likes the one at Littman’s better and from what I can surmise it is for 2 reasons. One is that the center stone is bigger (3/8 of a carat as opposed to the Kohls ring which is 1/5 of a carat) and I think she wants him to buy a ring that looks like an engagement ring (instead of what might pass for a really fancy cocktail ring). My mom is what many would call frugal ( or a super cheap freak) and loves to get a deal and refuses to pay regular price for practially everything. and she still picked the much more expensive ring.
Anyway… sorry… I keep getting my mother, my aunt, and my best friend telling me to either wait until i find something bigger, or more expenseive, and not to settle just to have a ring. I don’t want to settle just because something is a good deal or because I want an ering…. but I am torn between the two peices. I really love both of them and they both have a really different look. I honestly think I like the less expensive ring from kohls better but I keep getting people nagging me about how small the stone is and how cheap it is. I really want to tell them that the decision is between my SO and I but I also don’t want to alienate my friends and family. I have tried explaining to them that I don’t want to wear something that is super expensive because I am afraid of breaking it or loosing stones out of the band or damaging it and that I just don’t feel comfortable wearing something super expensive because i will constantly be worried about losing it. But I also don’t want to talk myself down from a more expensive peice because in the back of my head i know the more economical thing to do would be to choose the least expensive peice. For me, its not about the prestige of a big diamond like it was so many years ago when I was with my ex. Its about seeing something on my finger every day that constantly reminds me of my SO and how much we love eachother. honestly if I thought that the rings off the spin racks at walmart wouldn’t turn my finger green and wouldn’t cloud then I would go with one of those. It is no longer a way to one up my friends and family its a sign of love and devotion to one another. I see that now and I am starting to believe that everyone else sees the ering as a sign of prestige/money/materialistic value.
What do I tell my friends and family? How do I get them to stop criticizing my choice to get a smaller ring?
Here are the two rings. What do you all think?