@Lily_of_the_valley: Well, first off about wanting important family members to be there…
Fiance has a complicated family situation which is why we’re having a Destination Wedding in the first place. We know that his sister can’t afford to come and if his mom chooses to come, she also won’t be able to afford it. So we made the decision that we would pay for them to come if need be and if possible, pay for his 3 neices. That might not be possible.
There are family problems on his side that are bad enough that we decided it would be best if we pay for those who can’t come.
As far as people trying to talk you out of it… I’ve sort of experienced a similar thing. I have a friend (who isn’t that good of a friend, but I’m a doormat.. haha) who keeps saying about how she’ll be trying to save money to come and it’ll be a lot, but she’ll try to be there, etc. Basically, I can tell when she says it that she’s trying to guilt me.
What I have experienced is that the people who are truly supportive of me and Fiance are completely on board. They will find a way to be there and if they absolutely can’t, they aren’t going to try to talk us out of it. They understand that it is our wedding and we have our reasons for doing this.
I think that you need to just try to not let it bother you. Maybe for the important people you could help them financially to be able to come? I hope that the important people aren’t trying to guilt you. For me it hasn’t been those people (although my mom has been weird, but not really trying to guilt me) trying to guilt me.
When I finally made a decision on the venue and everything and stopped letting people give me their opinions on what they thought about a Destination Wedding they stopped. When people know you’re actually doing it for sure, probably many of them will shut their mouths. =) For us it was when we were allowing them to give opinions that it got kind of annoying.. haha.
As for the people who aren’t close family members and friends, but that you would just like to be there, make sure that they know you won’t be upset it they can’t come and you understand. There are sacrifices we Destination Wedding brides have to make, but hopefully the reasons for having the Destination Wedding outweigh the sadness from what we have to sacrifice. Have a get together when you’re back to see everyone who couldn’t come and show pictures, etc. Just make sure that they know that you understand that it is a big financial obligation as well as taking a lot of their time!