(Closed) How to deal with people trying to talk you out of a DW!?

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 32
3051 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

If you’ll both still be happy if no one comes, can you just bring his mom & sister & anyone on your side who is fully supportive & dying to be there and do an elopement type thing (or tiny DW) and have a reception/party back home? That’s what my SO & I are planning…even though I haven’t asked any of my family if they would be willing to come, I know they wouldn’t because they can’t bother to be inconvenienced 99% of the time (they wouldn’t even drive 20 mins from their houses to visit my cousin who lives out of state & hasn’t been here in like 5 years)…it’s easier for us to bring the 6 people who are the most important to us & then have a party back home with the family.

If that’s not an option or not what you want, I REALLY hope your family sucks it up & stops bitching lol

Post # 34
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@Lily_of_the_valley:  ” The only thing that is upsetting to me is they take a few localish vacations every summer to Wisconsin and spend WELL over $1,000 when they go.”

Yeah, but they might not want to sacrifice their annual tradition.  I think that is asking a lot.  I can understand her perspective there and think it is a more valid concern than tropical diseases in CR.

Post # 35
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I think that your response to your sister is good. If you really want to get married in Costa Rica, do it, and be unapologetic about it. It’s your wedding.

That said, you have absolutely no right to be upset with anyone who decides not to come. I’ve been to a ton of destination weddings, and I usually don’t mind paying, because I love to travel. However, if someone outside of my immediate family had a Destination Wedding in a location I wasn’t interested in going, I wouldn’t go.

The fact that your sister thinks CR is unsafe for kids is absolutely ridiculous, but her financial concerns are valid (and she doesn’t owe you an explanation, anyways). Don’t make her feel guilty for not wanting to spend thousands of dollars to come to your wedding.

Also, if people are travelling to CR, please do not make them buy bridesmaids’ dresses or rent tuxedos. My sister got married in Sonoma County last summer, and we spent over $1000 on travel, which I didn’t mind, but I was annoyed that I had to spend another $300 on an ugly dress that I will never wear again (I am living in a very expensive town on a graduate stipend).

Getting married in Costa Rica sounds amazing, and if that’s what you want, you should do it! Just understand that not everyone will be able to make it, and don’t judge them if they decline your invitation.

Post # 36
3172 posts
Sugar bee

If you really want to get married in Costa Rica, just accept that others may not be able to afford to go with you or consider paying for them if they can’t come. Those are your only two options. A lavish trip like that is very expensive and would be a hardship for some people. Be considerate of that. Maybe you should do a planned Destination Wedding elopement.

Post # 37
1879 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Lily_of_the_valley:  “I really want the people most important to be there with us to witness our marriage.”

Then don’t have a destination wedding. There will always be important people who can’t make it to a destination wedding. I have been to several destination weddings where for one reason or another a parent of the bride or groom couldn’t make it and had to skype in, to say nothing of other important people I didn’t know about.

People will try to talk you out of whatever decision you make. We are having a big wedding in our city (where 90% of our peeps live) and people are trying to talk us out of that. You just have to tell them it’s been decided and it’s what you want, end of story.

I think Costa Rica is reasonably safe? Idk I’ve never been but most of my family has been and some of them go every year.


Post # 38
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
@Lily_of_the_valley:  Hi! My family is from Costa Rica – super safe! We have a lot of family still over there that we visit frequently. I also have fellow American non spanish speaking friends who have lived there for 6+ months- only positive things to say! People are great over there and so many people speak English (and Chinese too, actually!)

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