Post # 46
I also need to brag on my brother for a second.. I understand how hard it is for him to understand feelings. I told him before he arrived that I was sorry if I wasnt my normal self, if I was snappy or impatient.. That I’ve been so stressed and have a lot of anxiety over the wedding.
When my brother got here, he walked in our house and said to me, “Hi. Cass, I’m really sorry that you are upset and stressed, I hope you feel better soon. I’m really sorry”. I just know how much he must have cared that I was upset to be able to express it to me. He’s the best.
Post # 47
cls9q: I have The Movie Network and HBO and it was OnDemand – I think it’s an HBO movie. Claire Daines is the lead in the film. It receieved a lot of award nominations which is how I’d heard of it, I was familiar with Temple Grandin before from my Psychology degree.
Post # 48
I am sorry I don’t have any advice to provide. Just wanted to share my empathy with your situation and that you are an amazing sister for caring and wanting to make things work. Although for very different reasons (drug addiction ) I have an older brother that I can’t communicate with either and saying our relationship is strained is an understatement. Even when ‘clean’ I can’t hold a convo with him for fear things will blow up. I hope this weekend goes well for you and it sounds from your last post that it has gotten off to a good start 🙂
Post # 49
As someone with an autism spectrum disorder, I am glad that you are making the effort to understand your brother. Even through this thread, I can tell that you have become noticeably more open-minded about the way he thinks, and I believe that the world needs a bit more of your newfound attitude. Anyway, I agree with many PPs in that you should look into resources for him while doing some more research on ASDs yourself. Although my experience in getting diagnosed was a lot smoother than your brother’s (I got my Asperger’s diagnosis when I was four years old, which is relatively early for that area of the spectrum), I am sure that he can make improvements, even if they will take more effort than they did for me. Feel free to PM me if you’d like…a lot of other things hit close to home to me in your post, and I would be glad to share my experiences. 🙂
Post # 50
mazzoffee: aww. Thanks. I don’t feel like an amazing sister. It makes me so sad that his life is so hard and in comparison mine is so easy. I shouldn’t complain about so many things that I do.
Post # 51
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
I’m just following with a big interest. I’m awaiting a psychological evaluation on my just turned 7 year old daughter. Her team is suspecting aspergers. I have a lot to learn and understand.
I will say that I am proud of you for acknowledging your feelings and despite those feelings have an eagerness to learn and understand. Way to go sister! Glad he has you. 🙂
Post # 52
Luvdisc: thank you so much. You all have been so sweet. It motivates me to do even more for my brother.
Post # 53
cls9q: You said that your brother has a keen interest in IT? Perhaps he would be well suited to do an IT-diploma or degree? He would be well and truly in his element, and to be fair, a lot of IT people (that I have met) all seem to love technology and latest gadgets so your brother would have a lot of people around him with the same interests.
My brother is also socially awkward, he has a condition but it is not autism but I definately understand the similar frustrations of having one-sided discussions. I have learnt that sometimes it is good to simply listen and tell your brother – “I don’t know about that. Why don’t you tell me more” and then let them explain it and ask questions when you didn’t understand one part. I always learn something talking to my brother and just keep asking questions… the best bit is that once you understand a bit more about what they are interested in you can find more and more ways to relate to what they are saying and “join in” so the conversation becomes less one-sided. It does take patience and time, but it does come. And I certainly think that it is easier for me know I’m a bit older. E.g. My brother is a geo-tech, and he kept telling me about ground density, soil types and foundations and load bearing, I’ve since been able to use that in my own work as I understand it more, and then we can bring my work into the conversations we have and have a two way convo about my work and his work.
Post # 54
cls9q: I work in the mental health field and I think everyone always expects family members to just “get with the program” because it’s a family member who has an intellectual disability, when sometimes it’s the hardest for them. I would research your brother’s disease as best as you can. Seek out online support groups if you can, if not just to vent when he does something to set you off, then also to interact with other individuals who have family members with the same illness that can give you tips and tricks to work through tough situations. You recognize that he doesn’t mean to say these rude things and that it’s just “him” and that’s a really good start.
Are there any support groups in his community? In my town, there is a school for adults with disabilities and no matter the disability, there is someone who can work with a client and help them out. Several of my clients have Aspberger’s and it can be tricky to communicate with them all the time. I just have to remind myself, as much as possible, to remain patient and understanding because they can’t help it. So, aside from trying to seek out a support group for yourself, I would see if there are any support groups for your brother as well.