(Closed) How to deal with sister MOH

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Tell her straight up!

“I feel hurt when you judge and criticize my choices for my wedding. This is my wedding and I get to make the decisions. When you get married you will get to make all the choices. I respect and want your opinion but If I don’t agree with it I don’t want you to push your opinion or go against my wishes!” Or something along those lines!

I know that you probably don’t like confrontation but I think things would go a lot better if she knew she was upsetting you!

Post # 4
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I second having a straightforward conversation. A couple other suggestions:

1. Pick your battles. Set priorities. Ask yourself, “Will this matter to me 5 years from now?” Honestly, probably no one is going to notice her dress as all eyes will be on you. My sister wearing a too-short dress wouldn’t matter to me. But if you think it’s a battle worth fighting, then assert yourself as Mrs. Martin suggests.

2. Assign her a job. Is there something you can delegate to her that you’re willing to give up control of? You could put her in charge of out of town gift bags, or the bach party, etc., and that might give her something she could do all on her own.

You’re going to have a thousand decisions to make, big and small, during this process. Lots of people will probably want things done their way. If you can separate what’s really important to you vs. what you can let go of, then you’ll have an easier time dealing with the little things that pop up.

Post # 6
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think you need to talk with her and let her know, in a nice but assertive way, that while you apprieciate her opinions and willingness to give suggestions you have a certian way you would like things to look.  Will a dress really matter 5 or 10 years down the road no not really, but her attitude of her way or the highway will still be there.  I would nip that in the bud right now.  If she doesn’t want to buy a knee length dress, fine you can buy it and then she can’t fuss about having to buy a dress she doesn’t like.  Good luck!!!

Post # 7
457 posts
Helper bee

Have a talk with her, you say she is younger, so maybe she just doesn’t know how to act and be, is this her first wedding?

I was 21 when I was my sisters Maid/Matron of Honor, I had no clue what I was going, what I should do, what I had a say in. Maybe you just need to sit down with her and explain things and let her know her part in all this.

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