Post # 1
My FI’s family are really nice people, but they can be very suffocating and I am finding that it is getting to me more and more recently.
I have a tiny immediate family and my extended family were mostly abroad growing up so I am not used to families being clingy and hanging out with each other ALL the time. Also I am a bit introverted and I have no interest in children or ever having kids of my own.Of course this is what my Fiance grew up with, but I just find it so irritating sometimes that nearly every week we have to visit his parents and almost every weekend there is some family function on. Luckily my Fiance never minds me not going to the ones which are less important, but I dont know why being asked if we are going still gets to me
Also, recently his sister and brother have had kids and every time we visit the conversation is 95% kid orientated. Now I never mind a quick chat about how the kids are doing etc, but its just really obsessive with them. It is all just beginning to grate on my nerves lately.
Do any other Bees have similar trouble or any advice?
Post # 3
My DH’s extended family is much closer than my own too. It’s something that you have to discuss with your Fiance and decide what makes you both happy. What would you feel comfortable with? If it were me, I would probably want to do a big family event once or twice a month. I would talk to your Fiance about how you feel and make an agreement. Make sure this is a private discussion that is about you, not about his family.
Post # 4
My boyfriend is also super close with his very large family. They have a big family (think about 15 people at least!! ) dinner every two weeks at different places of family members. It is so, so, so everwhelming for me as I come from a small family. Sure, I am close with my family but I don’t see them that often (due to distance). I can totally relate to you! On top of the two-weekly gatherings we will see some members of his family once a week or more. That I don’t mind as much if it’s a one on one (or two on two) scenario, I just dread the HUGE gatherings which can be so loud and tiring. SO knows how I feel about this and let’s me decide if I want to come along. I end up going once a month, which seems like a fair deal. Have you thought about a similar solution? You could go to one family gathering a month, choosing the “most important” ocasion. Someone once told me that she is married to her husband not his family but I find that saying a bit too harsh. Family is very important after all…
Post # 5
My FI’s family is like this. I LOVE them, but sometimes its a little too much. FI’s sister (married w/ 2 kids) lives 5 minutes from her parents’ house and literally everyday they are all always together. Every Sat & Sunday and almost every weeknight for dinner! This would drive me absolutely crazy!! Luckily Fiance and I live states away from his parents, lol. He even says that he has no desire to spend every.single.day and every.single.dinner with his entire family. Its just way too clingy, for me.