(Closed) How to deal with this? Long, sorry!

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
3059 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@givemecouture:  I try to remind myself that there IS a chance! Yes, our chances are lower than others, but all it takes is just that perfect timing and for the stars to align in our favor. It happened for you once already, it can and will happen again. Unfortunately, I have no advice on how to keep it from hurting month, after month, after painstaking month. I wish I could say it magically gets better, but it doesn’t, or hasn’t for me at least.

Have you thought about starting infertility sessions with your doctor? Just because it didn’t work for his ex, doesn’t mean it won’t work for you. Maybe she had underlying issues?

Best of luck and wishes to you. I hope you find comfort and peace soon or better yet, a BFP. I hope we all do!

Post # 5
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m confused as to why you aren’t seeking fertiility support? 

What is your BF’s issue?  Male Factor infertiilty can be several different things, some are fixable, some are not…… He needs to get checked out AGAIN, even if he had a full work-up with his last parnter. 

I would go get all the facts and then figure out what you are going to do.  You can always use a donor… then you would still be pregnant and you would get to experience that aspect together.


Good luck

Post # 6
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@givemecouture:  DH and I have been TTC for 3 years now, I have PCOS, and only got useful fertility help at the begining of this year. I started out the same, symptom spotting, noticing every little tweak and twinge, POAS every month I was 5 minutes late for my period…and it was EXHAUSTING!

I was honestly obsessing over every little thing, and it just sucked my energy away until I got to a point where I didnt want to do anything, I had no motivation to even leave the house. 

I think, eventually, we came out the other side of a dark time, and now weve reached a place where its a case of we are resigned to what may happen. We are doing all we can, and as cruel as it may sound, I have it in my head that getting PG isnt going to happen for us yet and so that way, I dont obsess over every little thing.

Weve reached an acceptance stage I think. But echoing what PPs have said, definately get you BF checked again so that you both know where you stand now and what plan of action you can take.

Post # 7
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Depending on what the problem is, Male Factor can be helped. Has he tried supplements? My Darling Husband went from (think) 5 million (post was for IUI) to 15 million (post wash) to 35 million (post wash) over the past year just by taking supplements. Read the book The Infertility Cure for some exact advice.

As for not charting so you don’t stress out, yeah hows that working for you? For me knowledge is power. I would feel more stress not knowing than just shooting in the dark. I would buy some cheap wondo Ovulation strips online and pee on those (I think afternoon is better, but I don’t use those so ask on another thread for better advice). Not as much stress trying to figure out temps, but some knowledge to know the best time to BD.

Also, when you do BD make sure to use the PP (prenancy position)–doggy style.

Good Luck!

Post # 8
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@3xaCharm:  This, exactly!

@givemecouture:  I 100% agree with other posters about the supplements thing. But, if you got pregnant by him before, then there is a chance! There’s always hope. I think seeing a fertility specialist would be a good idea.

Post # 11
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@givemecouture:  honestly, i would give charting a go – with low sperm, it’s even more important that you time things right, and i’d want to know how we went with timing each cycle…  unless you have very regular cycles and very regular sex (probably every 2nd day for low M & M)

yes, it’s a bit stressful for the first month as you learn the patterns and wake up during the night wondering if it’s time to test. but now, for me at least, it’s a habit that i find easier and more enjoyable than brushing my teeth ๐Ÿ™‚ and when my Naturo suggested taking a couple of months off while she sorts out our systems, I told her I couldn’t because i’d be more stressed without it ๐Ÿ™‚

that’s just my opinion, though, and it’s completely up to you!! All the very best!!

Post # 13
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I know this isn’t easy as it seems but can you get to the point where you just accept the fact that you won’t be able to become pregnant without medical help? Like stop checking, stop wishing, stop hoping? Tell yourself “One day we’re going to get medical help and have a baby but for now, it’s not going to happen so we’ll live our lives the same way we were until then.” Then put it on hold until after the wedding? If it happens, great but you won’t be setting yourself up every month.

I’m saying this because I’ve seen women become very obsessed with having a baby and your Fiance has already said he doesn’t want to go through that again. If you’re already getting really focused before you officially start trying I can only see it getting worst from here.

The topic ‘How to deal with this? Long, sorry!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors