Post # 1
Today at work I was in the kitchen when a colleague said to me:
‘I’m not being funny but are you expecting? I can see your bump!’
When I quietly explained that yes I am but as I’m not quite 3 months I’m waiting to officially announce it, she went on to remark:
‘Wow, you do look big for 3 months, I though you were due in like, December!’ with a frightened look on her face. And other comments such as: ‘Are you sure it’s not twins in there?’, and ‘oh well it’s normal to put on weight when you feel sick’
I thanked her for interest and left feeling really quite upset. I want to announce it in my own time, and yes, I have a small belly, which is partly bloat, partly baby, and partly the fact that I can only keep carbs down and can not exercise much as I vomit every day and have constant nausea.
Grrr. I feel so upset! How do I shrug this off and feel happy with my body? I just want to hide now 🙁 I know it’s not the end of the world, but I’m feeling sensitive at the moment.
Post # 3
Wow. Excuse my language but F*** her. Seriously. I am probably not quite as nice as you and would have thought about responding: “Every pregnancy is obviously very different. But I’m sure you can imagine how helpful comments like those are to a woman who is getting used to all these changes in her body.”
Or maybe you can just ask her if she’s knocked up too – since she’s looking a little … rounder than normal.
Anyway, shake it off sister. I don’t know how much of my 13.5 week belly is baby and how much is the carbs I’ve been eating due to morning sickness but you know what??? We are producing life! The chick in the lunchroom is just producing bullshit.
Post # 4
Are you totally against physical violence? I’d say smack her.
Post # 5
@iRun2004: Those are great suggestions!
That was extremely unprofessional, rude, and (quite frankly) nasty. I might interpret this as harrassment, but I’m not sure what kind of office environment/ your personal boundaries are. You said you were upset. I might tell that person to please not make any other comments in the future, and maybe consult with your HR Department. What your co-worker did was totally uncalled for and I. Would. Be. PISSED!
Post # 6
I get this ALL the time, so I feel your pain.
I get the following:
“Are you sure it’s not twins?”
“Wow, you’ve really ballooned out!”
So yeah…it sucks. And I am sorry that happened. 🙁
Post # 7
Sorry you’re feeling crappy… Throughout my pregnancy, I got the opposite: You’re not big enough, your baby won’t be healthy if you don’t put on more weight, etc. Mind you I put on a healthy 30 pounds…
Unfortunately, it will be worse once you officially announce your pregnancy. People seem to feel like it’s ok to make those kind of comments and they don’t realize it’s pretty hurtful.
The best I could do was to dress in a way that would conceal my belly for the longest time (I announced it at work only at week 19). Nothing too tight or too loose, I would have a vest over my shirt so that the bump wasn’t obvious… People will still know you’re pregnant, but it will be more difficult to assess how big is your bump.
And if you get really, really annoyed, you just reply something snarky like “well at least I have an excuse to put on the pounds, what’s yours? – oh, wait, was that rude? must be the hormones, what’s your excuse?”
Post # 8
I got the “OMG, are you sure you’re not carrying twins in there?” when I was pregnant with my daughter. People are so rude! Ugh!
I like all of @iRun2004: reponses! LOL
Post # 9
@greenviolets: “Hi Blimpy”!!!???!!?
I’d be homicidal.
OP: I’m 33 weeks pregnant and the sensitivity hasn’t really gone away for me, but I realise that I’m going to have a grow a seriously way thicker skin in order to deal with the fact that people are morons…and once the baby comes, the comments are just going to keep on coming. BAH.
You could always shut it down with a “Wow” or a “I’d prefer not to discuss my body at work”. I’m sure this chick meant nothing and was trying to be “nice” and put her foot in her mouth…which just got worse. I actually think that you did a good job of being shocked, while not speechless.
The best comment I’ve heard to deal with this kind of BS from others came from the doula at my prenatal classes “You are all the perfect size for you”. Your baby is unique. Your body is unique. It’s going to react to pregnancy the way it’s going to react. Her comments only show HER ignorance.
Post # 10
@mommytobee: That last comment just made my day. I’m filing that away for future use.
Post # 11
That was way out of line of her. I’m sure you look great and she has no idea what you are going through! Just brush those biotches off! ARG
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I would insist in a deadpan voice that I’m not pregnant. It’s always bothered me when I see other women treated this way. I’ve already told Darling Husband that whenever anyone who brings up my size/pregnancy uninvited I will insist that I’m not pregnant and tell them that I think it’s rude that they assumed it. 🙂
I don’t care if the baby is crowning, I don’t think it’s appropriate for someone to ask or comment about a woman’s body for any reason unless she initiates the conversation.
ETA: Darling Husband reccomended that I burst into tears and exclaim as loudly as possible “Why do people keep asking me that?!?” (but only when I’m like 8+ months pregnant, so there’s absolutely no possibility that I’m not)… But then again he has a twisted sense of humor like that!
Post # 13
THANK YOU SOOO much lovely ladies, for your kind and funny responses!! I feel better already and will definitely be trying out some of these lines next time anyone comments 🙂
@Pearberry: that’s a good point, I hadn’t thought of it like that – I will keep it in mind if she says anything else.
Thank you x
Post # 14
@iRun2004: Awesome suggestion. I feel like most people respond more to being made to feel ignorant, as opposed to being snarky to them. I still would have to bite my tounge NOT to be snarky though, just for the record:)
Post # 15
I’ve gotten the twins comment (not expecting twins, though) many, many times from co-workers and a neighbor. And how big I look and I “must be ready to pop” and “Are you sure you won’t go earlier since you are carrying so big?” It’s so rude and I don’t say anything back, but want to! That was extremely insensitive of your co-worker! Very rude! 🙁
Post # 16
Next time start fake hysterically crying and saying how horrible you feel about yourself. Make her feel REALLY bad. That should shut her up forever.
Keep your chin up girl!