(Closed) How to deal with uninvited comments about size of belly/bump?!

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Wow. Excuse my language but F*** her. Seriously. I am probably not quite as nice as you and would have thought about responding: “Every pregnancy is obviously very different. But I’m sure you can imagine how helpful comments like those are to a woman who is getting used to all these changes in her body.”

Or maybe you can just ask her if she’s knocked up too – since she’s looking a little … rounder than normal.

Anyway, shake it off sister. I don’t know how much of my 13.5 week belly is baby and how much is the carbs I’ve been eating due to morning sickness but you know what??? We are producing life!  The chick in the lunchroom is just producing bullshit.

 

Post # 4
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Are you totally against physical violence? I’d say smack her.

Post # 5
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@iRun2004:  Those are great suggestions!

That was extremely unprofessional, rude, and (quite frankly) nasty.  I might interpret this as harrassment, but I’m not sure what kind of office environment/ your personal boundaries are.  You said you were upset.  I might tell that person to please not make any other comments in the future, and maybe consult with your HR Department.  What your co-worker did was totally uncalled for and I.  Would.  Be.  PISSED!

Post # 6
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I get this ALL the time, so I feel your pain.

I get the following:

“Are you sure it’s not twins?”

“Wow, you’ve really ballooned out!”

“Hi, Blimpy!”

 

So yeah…it sucks. And I am sorry that happened.  πŸ™

Post # 7
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Sorry you’re feeling crappy… Throughout my pregnancy, I got the opposite: You’re not big enough, your baby won’t be healthy if you don’t put on more weight, etc. Mind you I put on a healthy 30 pounds…

Unfortunately, it will be worse once you officially announce your pregnancy. People seem to feel like it’s ok to make those kind of comments and they don’t realize it’s pretty hurtful.

The best I could do was to dress in a way that would conceal my belly for the longest time (I announced it at work only at week 19). Nothing too tight or too loose, I would have a vest over my shirt so that the bump wasn’t obvious… People will still know you’re pregnant, but it will be more difficult to assess how big is your bump.

And if you get really, really annoyed, you just reply something snarky like “well at least I have an excuse to put on the pounds, what’s yours? – oh, wait, was that rude? must be the hormones, what’s your excuse?”

Post # 8
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I got the “OMG, are you sure you’re not carrying twins in there?” when I was pregnant with my daughter. People are so rude! Ugh!

I like all of @iRun2004:  reponses! LOL

Post # 9
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@greenviolets:  “Hi Blimpy”!!!???!!?

I’d be homicidal.

OP: I’m 33 weeks pregnant and the sensitivity hasn’t really gone away for me, but I realise that I’m going to have a grow a seriously way thicker skin in order to deal with the fact that people are morons…and once the baby comes, the comments are just going to keep on coming.  BAH.

You could always shut it down with a “Wow” or a “I’d prefer not to discuss my body at work”.  I’m sure this chick meant nothing and was trying to be “nice” and put her foot in her mouth…which just got worse.  I actually think that you did a good job of being shocked, while not speechless.

The best comment I’ve heard to deal with this kind of BS from others came from the doula at my prenatal classes “You are all the perfect size for you”.  Your baby is unique.  Your body is unique.  It’s going to react to pregnancy the way it’s going to react.  Her comments only show HER ignorance.

Post # 10
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@mommytobee:  That last comment just made my day.  I’m filing that away for future use.

Post # 11
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LMD84:  HA!

That was way out of line of her. I’m sure you look great and she has no idea what you are going through! Just brush those biotches off! ARG

 

Post # 12
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I would insist in a deadpan voice that I’m not pregnant.  It’s always bothered me when I see other women treated this way.  I’ve already told Darling Husband that whenever anyone who brings up my size/pregnancy uninvited I will insist that I’m not pregnant and tell them that I think it’s rude that they assumed it.  πŸ™‚

I don’t care if the baby is crowning, I don’t think it’s appropriate for someone to ask or comment about a woman’s body for any reason unless she initiates the conversation. 

 

ETA: Darling Husband reccomended that I burst into tears and exclaim as loudly as possible “Why do people keep asking me that?!?” (but only when I’m like 8+ months pregnant, so there’s absolutely no possibility that I’m not)… But then again he has a twisted sense of humor like that! 

Post # 14
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@iRun2004:  Awesome suggestion.  I feel like most people respond more to being made to feel ignorant, as opposed to being snarky to them.  I still would have to bite my tounge NOT to be snarky though, just for the record:)

Post # 15
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’ve gotten the twins comment (not expecting twins, though) many, many times from co-workers and a neighbor. And how big I look and I “must be ready to pop” and “Are you sure you won’t go earlier since you are carrying so big?”  It’s so rude and I don’t say anything back, but want to! That was extremely insensitive of your co-worker! Very rude! πŸ™

Post # 16
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Next time start fake hysterically crying and saying how horrible you feel about yourself.  Make her feel REALLY bad.  That should shut her up forever.  

Keep your chin up girl!

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