(Closed) how to decide to move on?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

First, that’s a fairly normal first step with an RE. If you’ve been trying over a year and not pregnant, that’s usually where they head. What did you want them to do? There are bees on here who have gotten pregnant after being on meds then stopping. It really is a personal choice but for us due to some health issues, we HAD to start Clomid after 9 months then visit an RE after a 1 yr. I never questioned it bc I knew something was wrong and we needed help. If I continued to wait it out my endometriosis could have spread more causing permanent infertility. Did we get pregnant? No. But I’m at peace with it and we are taking time off. In Jan we will go back for more bloodwork and evaluation to see where we stand if we can try again, however we will not go down the meds/IUI route. You guys just need to sit down and give yourself a timeline of when you’ve tried naturally enough and when you will want assistance. Alot of women choose to wait a year, some go early bc of known issues. Only you can decide when the right time is.

Post # 4
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

First, so sorry you are going through this. You should check out our never-ending thread over here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/infertility-thread-v1111

There are 2 books I recommend– Taking Charge of Your Fertility and Making Babies: A Proven 3-month Program for Maximum Fertility.

Have you been charting your temperature? It will give you a better idea of what is going on with your body. For instance, because of my non-existant rise in temp, I knew I wasn’t ovulating.

Have you been using a Ovulation Predictor Kit? Since you are having trouble, I would recommend you get the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. It’s costly, but will track your personal hormones and over time be able to learn about your cycles. 

I know you are leery of medications, but they aren’t evil. You can try them and if you don’t like it, you can stop. They won’t ruin your fertility. I’ve heard of many women who try Fertility Treatments (even many IVF rounds) then decide to stop, go more natural/herbal route and get pregnant.

Or you can try the more holistic/chinese herb/accupuncture route first and see how it goes. After the age of 35, it gets slightly more difficult, but you really have until 38 before fertility takes a plunge. You can try the holistic route for another 6m-1y, then try Clomid and/or IUI.

Also, you may want to take to your doc about you and Darling Husband taking antibotics. In the book MB:AP3MPMF, she mentions that low-grade infections are the reason for lots of unexplain infertility.

As for how I came to terms with going to the next step, I’m 41 and I knew there was a good chance I would have problems. So many of my friends have had to go through treatment, it wasn’t super scary for me. I see it as a medical issue–my reproductive organs are working properly, so I’m going to see a professional who can get them to work. The end goal is a baby and I’m going to do whatever I need to do to get there. I don’t feel like this problem makes me any less of woman or that I’m ‘broken’. My eye don’t work properly, so I wear glasses–my lady parts aren’t working properly, so I go to a RE.

Post # 6
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

@comemai: How old are you both?  If you have no real time issue, and you are feeling uncomfortable about the next steps, then keep trying naturally for awhile.

When I first started seeing doctors around 11 months, I was not ready to try any meds, but now, 4 months later, I feel that it would’ve happened on it’s own if everything was “right.”  We have decided (after all diagnostic testing was close to normal – Darling Husband has 4% morphology) to proceed to Clomid + IUI.  I know there are good and bad things out there about Clomid, but I wholeheartedly trust my doctor.  I read about Clomid also and it basically fills Estrogen receptors in your brain so your brain thinks you are producing more Estrogen and then egg formation and ovulation are stronger.  He thinks this will lengthen my luteal phase.  I also feel more comfortable with the fact that you only take it for 5 days.

The drawbacks are that it can dry up cervical mucus in some women and thin lining in some.  I guess I will just see how it goes…

What happened with us is that we got to a point where we didn’t feel like we were moving forward or increasing our chances in anyway and we were very frustrated by the lack of quality info we were getting from our OBGYN.  We had been charting, using fertility monitors, etc.  Seeing an RE made us feel much more comfortable in having a plan.

So in a nutshell, decide how long you are willing to try naturally and when you reach the end of that timeline, consider other options.  Those options are many and don’t all require drugs.

Good luck!  And totally come join us on the infertility thread.  Everyone is so knowledgeable and supportive!

Post # 7
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@comemai:  If your periods are normal, and your bloodwork comes back normal, would they still want you to take pills?  If the issue is sperm count or mobility, then I can see why IUI would be a good step.  But first you need to know if you are actually ovulating.  If everything in your system is 100% normal, then no need for Clomid or a trigger.  Also, how is your weight?  I was only about 10-15 lbs overweight but the doctor said losing it would increase my chances tremendously.  He was right. 

Post # 8
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Do check out the infertility thread.  I’m 41 and had to have my 2nd myo to even begin.  Now I’m waiting patiently to get the go ahead.  Ok, not soo patient because we have 3 months before we have to decide straight to IVF or IUI.  Luckily I know several couples who have gone the IVF route so I’m willing to jump right into it.  Also my Mom works @ a hospital.  Does the drugs scare me? Yes, but Darling Husband and I decided we would go as far medically as long it didn’t cause injury or leave us bankrupt.  You and Darling Husband just need to decide what makes sense for you.  As my RE indicated, “We will only go as far as you agree”

Now that being said, start researching ways to increase your fertility naturally since you are heistant going the medicated route.  Start pre-natals for you and a mult for him.  Look @ eating more organic foods especially meats and fruit.  Go to a herbalist or acupunturist as well as an RE.  There’s a ton you can do outside of the normal path if your not ready.  Through these boards and other websites I learned that its never impossible to become a mother. @ times it can take blood, sweat and tears, as well as a healthy dose of faith, but it is all worth it when yoour child is sleeping in your arms.

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