Post # 1
My husband’s sister is getting married in April in Jamaica. They got engaged after we announced we were pregnant, so she knew our situation. Our child is due October 9th and all payments to her travel agent are due by October 15th. Unless a miracle happens – I don’t feel comfortable dropping $2k per person on her wedding during a time of such uncertainty and change in our lives. Darling Husband and I have the money, but don’t feel comfortable spending it on a destination wedding with a new child. She wrote in an e-mail to my father-in-law that she was sick of hearing all the “excuses” as to why we couldn’t make it, and then told him to make sure to forward it to us. Her final statement in the email reads: “Prices have dropped so I expect you all to be there. No excuses.”
How do I even begin to respond to that?
Post # 3
@firsttimemom: Destination weddings are never mandatory. The couple chose to get married in another country, you didn’t. She’s being selfish.
Post # 4
you will have a newborn. it’s ridiculous of her to expect you to come.
Post # 5
@firsttimemom: wow. that’s incredibly rude on her part. she will never understand until she’s pregnant herself (I’m assuming she doesn’t have children…).
Post # 6
I hate this crap. Just because you have the money doesn’t mean that’s how you want to spend $4k. Something about a week in Jamaica with a 6 month old just doesn’t sound very fun… Is there any way that you can still have the option to attend once you’ve met your baby and determined his or her personality?
It really sucks of her. Sorry.
Post # 7
@firsttimemom: wow. I can’t even believe the wording and tone of her last email.
If I were you I would reply: “Yeah, my baby just dropped, so sorry, we won’t be able to make it. Thanks for the invite.”
She is being ludicrous and selfish. You are an expectant mother and she should have enough respect for you and her brother to allow you to stay at home during this time without all the grief.
Post # 8
That is definitely not mandatory…having a newborn is a lot of hard work and takes a lot of time..I don’t think it’s fair to expect you to pay that much and travel, when it probably won’t work out anyway
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
@firsttimemom: I think you have the mother of all legitimate excuses to not attend a destination wedding: newborn! You can’t argue with a baby. It is completely ridiculous for her to expect you to travel with a newborn baby and to spend so much money to get to her wedding when you’ll undoubtedly have a lot of baby-related expenses. I’d tell her it’s not an excuse, it’s a fact: you cannot commit to attending her wedding because you have a newborn baby! She should have known by having a destination wedding that certain people would simply not be able to attend.
Post # 10
If you really dont want to go or travel with a 6 month old, then just don’t. A friend of mine did go on a two week trip to Thailand for a wedding, and left their 2 month old at home with his parents, so it’s doable…. only if you want to.
Post # 11
Wedding attendance is never mandatory no matter where the wedding is located. As it’s been said before on this board, it’s an invitation, not a summons! If a couple chooses to have a destination wedding, they have to accept that some people will not be able to attend.
I wouldn’t even respond–it’s your husband’s sister, make him deal with her!
Post # 12
I have no idea why people expect others to drop well over 1K and take off a bunch of time to go to their wedding… let alone if you have a legit excuse not to go. Definitely anyone who expects this is selfish.
Post # 13
I have an awesome idea for brides who think there wedding is mandatory – don’t have a freaking destination wedding. I’d listen to her and not give her any excuses, just RSVP no! Seriously though, how self-absorbed.
Post # 14
If she “expects” everyone to be there, since “prices have dropped,” she could just gift you and your hubby the vacation costs, now couldn’t she? The tone of the last email is not the way to foster family togetherness. The fact she expects you to travel with a 6 month old baby- wow. The issue, for me, isn’t a matter of can you afford the wedding. The issue is her “demanding” people show up!
Post # 16
If she gives you any more crap show her this thread and all the people who think she’s a selfish something something….