(Closed) How to decline a “mandatory” wedding? :(

posted 9 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 62
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

“My ‘excuse’ is a human being, one whose well-being is higher on my priority list than yours. There is no excuse, however, for your passive-aggressive B.S., so you can just eff off. Have a nice wedding.”

Post # 63
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel like Shes being unreasonable.She should understand your situation and not make you feel bad about it. I was going to have a destination wedding … And a close family member expressed how they couldn’t afford it, it was really crappy because this person makes more money than me and has been buying a ton of new things. I knew it was an inconvenience more than it was the money. A few days after that my future SIL told us her masters program is going to get in the way of coming to our wedding. At that point I decided to have it here, my point is these two people were far to important to not be there and I didn’t want to make them feel bad about not coming and I couldn’t imagine my weddibg without them. She is being selfish, don’t let her make you feel guilty or bad.

Post # 64
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

First off, just tell her…

uhm, this is not an “excuse” but a ‘VALID REASON’

That is crazy.  4k, thats alot of money.  Not only for medical bills, but what happens if something happens to your vehicle and you need repairs to transport your baby back and for to doctors.

4k… lets see, what can 4k buy?  partial down payment on a house, or how many months rent?  how many packs of diapers, formula, clothes, baby furniture…  Babies are NOT CHEAP.  And caring for them takes alot of money!

This to me is NOT an excuse, but a reason.  

I also agree, do not feed into the drama, state your REASON (not excuses), and that should be enough.  I also think its nice your husband does not want to leave his baby to go either.  There is NOTHING wrong with that…  

Good for you for having your priorities in order.  Her decisions about her wedding, is not your fault…  And you are not responsible for her feelings…  She is the one that chose the venue.,  There are outcomes for every choice.  Her choice means that alot of people will not be able to either afford to attend, or, have circumstances beyond all control that will prevent them from attending.  You are choosing not to go because you have your priorities in order…  Which to me, sounds like a very good reason and a choice!

Good Luck,

Please keep us posted as to how things go.  



Post # 65
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Your SIL is “off the chain” crazy with this. Besides your legitimate reason of being pregnant or having a newborn, just because she decided to throw a destination wedding doesn’t mean that every can/wants to drop thousands off dollars and use their vacation time to attend HER wedding. People need to understand that the most important day in THEIR life is not the most important day in EVERYBODY else’s life! This women is crazy and obnoxious!

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