How to decline a wedding event?

posted 1 month ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
936 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

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@champagneandlace:  I would say blame the global pandemic but you’re traveling across the country for a trip. Unfortunately, my advice would be to be honest and just let her know you can’t afford it.

Post # 3
Member
5419 posts
Bee Keeper

When is it? You can mention the pandemic? I mean that’s a pretty valid reason to not want to travel now. Is the wedding this year?

Post # 5
Member
3035 posts
Sugar bee

“I’m sorry, I’m unable to attend.”

Post # 6
Member
6168 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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@misslucy:  this. Short and sweet. 

Post # 8
Member
6168 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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@champagneandlace:  I would just tell her a few days ahead that I’m not feeling well and don’t want anyone to catch anything from me. That’s it.

Post # 9
Member
10541 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

You don’t need to give an explanation. Just say, “Sorry my circumstances have changed and I won’t be able to make it”

Also putting “Look” at the start of what you wrote out makes it oddly aggressive. And you just don’t need that long of an explanation. Reasonable people understand that friends/family sometimes can’t make it to events. This really shouldn’t be a big deal.

Post # 10
Member
849 posts
Busy bee

I agree just say that your circumstances changed and you’re unable to attend “xyz event” however, i will present for “xyz next event”

Post # 11
Member
31 posts
Newbee

When i was in school, i did get out of a wedding blaming exams. The wedding was in Europe and I live in the US. The best excuse i think is something you can’t possibly move. 

If you cant be honest (because finances is the real reason) may be you can make up an excuse? Can you lie about a family matter or a health problem? I am suggesting you lie. But maybe overexegerate a bit?

Post # 12
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I’d just text and say, “Hey, unfortunately, I’m not going to be able to make the couple’s shower. Sorry to miss it, I’m sure it will be wonderful!” Send text, then text again right away. “Looking forward to your bachelorette trip. We’re going to have so much fun!”

She doesn’t need a reason you can’t make it. You can’t make it. Just give a heads up and move on. Lying or making something up just makes you look bad. You don’t need a reason.

Post # 13
Member
3066 posts
Sugar bee

Why are you going to all these events during a pandemic??? And traveling across the country for a bachelorette during a pandemic??? That’s insane.

Your reasoning for needing to conserve energy for an event 3 weeks away is complete BS and she’ll see right through it. Either come up with a convincing lie or don’t give a reason. 

Post # 14
Member
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I don’t think “conserving your energy” for the Bach weekend, 3 weeks later, is a very good excuse. I would just shorten what you wrote in your original post and be sincere about the reason. 

Post # 15
Member
920 posts
Busy bee

I’m reading this as if you have some underlying resentment towards the bride. That might play into my answer, but pandemic aside you did say you would go. Ive been in your position before (including driving 5hrs round trip for bday parties or showers, etc) and one thing I realized is I don’t always have to say yes (especially when resentment is building), but for me personally someone’s word means everything. Some extra context would help. If you decide not to go, in the future I’d advise you to think of your needs first, also I’d personally think of a compromise (donating something towards the shower to help out).

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