How to decline a wedding event?

posted 1 month ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Just send your regrets. Make it short and sweet. You do not owe an explanation. 

Post # 17
Member
10004 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
@champagneandlace:  

Well there is no way l would be travelling about the US right now, for a ‘couples shower ‘ ( wtf) or a bachelorette . I would decline both in writing, by saying that after serious thinking about  the pandemic and it’s trajectory  you have decided to do no more travelling in the near future . That you wish  them very well and hope it all goes beautifully. And send a present with your message. 

Post # 18
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

could you blame work? “I’ve exhausted all my vacation days and I want to make sure I have enough for the bachelorette and the wedding”

Post # 19
Member
13613 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I would say words to the effect that you’ve had a wake up call about the sheer stupidity and irresponsibility of hosting or attending events like these during a global pandemic when it puts your life as well as that of others at risk. Including any sort of traditional wedding. But more tactfully. You could always say you have vulnerable loved ones and no longer feel comfortable taking chances. We’re all vulnerable so  that does not have to be a lie. 

Post # 20
Member
910 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

“Hi Bride, I hope you’re doing well! I just wanted to let you know that unfortunately it looks like I can’t attend the shower after-all. I can’t wait to see you for the bachelorette!”

Post # 21
Member
780 posts
Busy bee

Hello bride, more then 200,000 people have died during this pandemic. It’s not safe to travel so I won’t be able to make it to any future events including the wedding 

Post # 22
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

“Unfortunately, I/we are unable to attend x event.  I/We look forward to celebrating with you at your wedding.” 

No need for detail.  You don’t need to talk about money or energy.  

Post # 23
Member
204 posts
Helper bee

Echoing PP who suggested to say that you’re “not feeling well” a few days prior to the event and wouldn’t want to spread covid.  Given everyone in the group’s apparently flippant attitude toward the pandemic, this is a completely plausible explanation.  I don’t say this to be mean, but all of these pre-wedding activities involving traveling and groups is unnecessarily high-risk which probably means that you and others are engaging in other high-risk activities outside of the wedding events.  Based on this, it shouldn’t surprise anyone if you said you might be sick.  I’m sure you (and the bride) have seen the stories of people catching covid from bachelorette parties (in particular I recall one where all 16 members of the bridal party caught it from a night on the town) and weddings (in particular one where dozens of attendees of the wedding caught it, several were hospitalized, and the father of the bride (or was it groom?) died shortly thereafter…imagine having that on your conscience for the rest of your life).  I hope you’ll make good choices.

Post # 24
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What I always do in these situations during normal times when I don’t want to spend the time/money on multiple wedding events, is send a gift that is a little higher price point considering I am saving money and time not having to drive/fly/use a hotel for another event. This might be nice to consider?

If ya’ll are in the US though… we just hit 200K deaths. This is an awful lot of travel the couple is promoting during a pandemic. I think it is wild you are amenable to this no matter where you live as no state or community is really safe right now with people traveling across borders so frequently. You could not pay me to go on a cross-country trip with a group of people not in my quarantine domicile right now. Young people are succumbing to this too. 

Post # 25
Member
47444 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@champagneandlace:  No one is ever obligated to give a reason when declining an invitation. Expecting wedding party members to travel multiple times, including a destination bachelorette, is not reasonable.

“I’m unable to attend. I know you will have a wonderful time.”

Post # 26
Hostess
4565 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
@ashleyroo:  Hello bride, more then 200,000 people have died during this pandemic. It’s not safe to travel so I won’t be able to make it to any future events including the wedding. 

This.  Literally word for word.  This is why we have 200k deaths and counting. 

Post # 27
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@champagneandlace:  “aww man, so bummed i cant make that weekend! Look forward to seeing pics and cant wait for the wedding!! ” 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors