(Closed) How to decline someone expecting to give a toast?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2505 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
blushingbride2bee:  Maybe mention the time constraints and that you want people to enjoy the slideshow without it being rushed etc. so if they did it the night of the rehearsal it would be better received?


Post # 3
2156 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply

Tell them you just don’t have time to fit it into the reception.

I don’t know if you have a coordinator or someone who is kind of running the show at your wedding, but I would tell them to absolutely not let this happen.  

Post # 4
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

“I really appreciate that you want to give a toast at the reception,but unfortunately, our timeline is so packed that we only have time for 4 very short toasts, and we’ve already asked the best man, maid of honor, my dad, and your daughter, and we can’t take that away from them now. But we would love for you tospeak as long as you like and do a slide show at the rehearsal dinner.”

The thing that I think might make it more touchy is that you asked their daughter to speak but neither of them. They might think that’s poor etiquette. I think technically it might be, but I totally get where you’re coming from.

Post # 7
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d have your Fiance bring this up and say he got wind that they are planning something. That you guys need to know what it is, and then have him shut it down. They can toast and slideshow it up at the rehearsal dinner.

Post # 8
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
blushingbride2bee:  I’m with you on this one…I get so very irritated at weddings where the toasts turn into an hour long ordeal of inside jokes and cliches….its rare that you hear a really amazing one, and my rule is, if you aren’t an entertainer, keep it short, sweet and throw back a drink.  Tell your in laws that something like would be such a treat at the rehearsal dinner since you hadn’t expected such a lovely gesture and everyone there would love to see it.

Post # 9
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Just say no.  When one of my sisters said “oh I’m going to have to work on my speech for the wedding!” I told her right away “sorry, only the Maid/Matron of Honor & Best Man get to make a speech!” which nipped it in the bud

The topic ‘How to decline someone expecting to give a toast?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors