(Closed) How to discuss budget with parents

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would probably budget assuming that you’re paying for everything by yourself. Then if he offers to pay for something, you have money in your pockets for something else than your wedding. I personally wouldn’t bring it up unless he specifically asks.

My parents ended up offering me my dress and accessories, but I had planned on buying everything and am just even more greatful for their gift because it wasn’t expected at all.

Post # 4
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would just ask your dad speciafically HOW he wants to help. That’ll give him a chance to offer money, instead of you asking directly for it. It’d also help if you’ve done enough research going into the conversation to know what kind of a budget you’re looking at for the wedding. THen it’ll give him a ballpark of what you and your Fiance are up against, and what he might want to contribute (it anything) to the wedding. Just make sure you approach it in a way that lets him know that anything he gives you is appreciated, but obviously you aren’t demanding anything (but i’m sure he’ll already know that about you! ๐Ÿ™‚ ).

Post # 5
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe the conversation with your dad would be easier when the wedding gets closer.  I noticed that the wedding date you listed in not until 2012.  If he is planning on helping financially, he may not have discussed specific amounts because the wedding is still quite still a few years away.  He might be more inclined to talk about financial information when there is more concrete information to talk about (ex. you start looking at venues, etc).

Post # 6
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oooh, poor you! Tricky! My dad said something similar, but unfortunately his ideas of money were fixed years ago, and inflation kinda passed him by, so I’ve steeled myself to fend completely for myself and be delighted with whatever he offers lol! Ah bless ’em….

Why don’t you open it by asking what he thinks about particular options for the wedding, like menus etc, what does he think you should do… If he doesn’t bite on that, maybe say something like, ” Dad, remember how you said you’d like to help with the wedding, how would you feel about helping to build a pergola for the site?” or some such, though I dunno what you can say if he goes for the toolbox! Hahaha!!

I just mean, maybe ask about something that gives him an out, or an easy way to clarify what he meant, without you being the one to mention the word money. At least you might know where you’re at.

Best of luck!

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