Post # 1
We want to do something special for our lost love ones. My Fi’s grandma has just passed away last night after a very long day of tears sitting at her hospital bed side with thw whole family. She was old and her heart just couldnt take it anymore. My FI is taking very very hard. I was actually holding her hand when it happen and I was the one person in the room who wasnt an actual relative. Before she went we were all able to take a chance and say our goodbyes. I told her we were sad that she wouldnt able to make it to our wedding and she would be missed. She told me to watch over her little Brian. i thought that was so sweet. When I told my FI that, he just lost it. Anyway while we were waiting, he mentioned he wanted to have something at our wedding as some kind of memorial. I already have a little memorial thing for my dad. Im fine adding in something for her too but Im thinking if we do, people will question why dont we have the other grandparents which are my 2 grandpas. Then he mentioned his aunt who he was very close to. But then I had an uncle who was killed and my great grandparents who i lost. Idk thats so many people tho so and i dont want it to get all morbid and depressing looking. But i know if we leave people out or only do certain people, people are going to be offended or ask why they werent remembered. So not sure what to do here. Right now I have a little corsage of white roses with a small picture of my dad on it. but I was thinking i could take the picture off, and do like a 11×14 collage kind of picture of everyone. Then we wont have a ton of peoples pictures out, everyone will be on there, and we can just put the flowers next to it in the corner or something.
Post # 3
Ours wasn’t really a memorial, but we had a shelf with wedding/couple pictures of our parents, grandparents etc. It fit the theme of a wedding, and was way I felt was nice to include them in our day.
I also made a bouquet charm of my husbands grandparents (his grandfather, who my husband is named after, has passed away; his grandmother is in her 90s and couldn’t make it) whose anniversary we were married on. You could have a charm for your dad, and maybe a special pin or set of cuff links for your FIs grandmother if you are interested in something that is a little more subtle. My MIL showed off my charm a lot because she was so touched by it, so others can see them as well if you want to involve your familiy in the memorializing.
Post # 4
As of right now, we’ll be remembering 3 of my grandparents and my uncle. FIs very lucky in that the last family member to pass was his great grandfather and he doesn’t even remember it. I’m thinking of displaying a family tree. Put couple and individual pictures up of our immediate families with those who’ve gone in special frames or marked in some other way from our great grandparents down to us.
Post # 5
I went a wedding last week that just had a sign that said “We know you’d be here today, if heaven weren’t so far away…” and a small bouquet of flowers infront of it. there was a flower for each of the people they were remembering, they were all different colors (It was a small bouquet of roses, five different color roses, for their grandparents and the bride’s father). It was simple, it was obviouss it meant something, and it was very cute. I really liked it.
Post # 6
We are doing a memory table with photos of loved ones we have lost, including all our grandparents (FI’s grandma passed in December, while mine was last April) as well as FI’s aunt who passed away two years ago. I have seen some different verses/poems on Pinterest and the like, but we are just having a sign that says “In Loving Memory”.
Post # 7
You could do a memorial table at the reception; at the ceremony you could have a moment of silence at the beginng for “those who cannot be with us today,” or something to that effect, or maybe put something to that effect in the program (like have a “dedication” section where you thank everyone who helped and dedicate the ceremony to those who have passed). Also you could save the first seat on your side and the first seat on his side and put a rose for each person who has passed. Any or all of these would work, I think.
Post # 8
@jbbs1222: one of my best friends passed away very young at 21 and i’m having difficulties thinking of ways to honor her without me losing my composure during my wedding, not to mention grandparents (not to sound insensitive but I get way more emotional over the loss of my friend because my grandma and 2 grandpas passed away when I was very young/not born yet). thanks for starting this thread. i’m hoping well get some good ideas from other bees on this senstive subject
Post # 9
The memorial is truly meant to be there for you and your groom. Memorialize the people who are there with you in spirit in any way you choose. My husband and I eloped (just the two of us). Both his parents and my father are deceased and my mother is still with us. Because none of them were there we had them mentioned in the vows (just a short sentence) and I orderd a bouquet charm and boutinnere charm from etsy with pictures of each couple.
Post # 10
I had a table with wedding pictures from my grandparents, MIL & FIL and my parents… My grandma’s sister and an aunt also wanted to join in and did.
I recommend doing this… and for the recently deceased grandma, leave a chair in the ceremony with a lit candle… 🙂
Post # 11
I like the table with the little things and photos and maybe a note or poem.
My mom, grama and grampa have passed away. I wouldn’t do the empty seat thing, I think that is SO sad. I can’t imagine looking over all night and thinking “they should be sitting there..”
I went to a wedding that had an empty seat for her dad and it almost made ME cry and I didn’t even know him (or the bride). I think it’s too sad.
Post # 12
I’m kind of thinking of doing this now. Get one of these with enough frames, so far im thinkin like 8, and everyone gets their own little frame. then can put the flowers i already have at the bottom and maybe a little sign that says “in loving memory” or something.
Post # 13
We just had a mention in the vows about people who can’t be there because my mother passed away and I didn’t want anything more but I know people want more.
Post # 14
I did bouquet charms for my grandma and great grandma. Something small, most people didn’t see them, but my grandma and mom/aunts/assorted other family loved them.
Post # 15
@jbbs1222: weddings are not funerals. Don’t make yours into one. Honor her and whomever else you lost in your hearts.