(Closed) How to do small ceremony and big reception at the same place on the same day?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2027

I don’t think you can invite some people to the ceremony and reception and others to the reception only. If you are really that nervous, maybe get officially married at the courthouse beforehand and either get rid of the ceremony part altogether and just do a reception or do a shortened version of a “ceremony” (thinking 5 min unity candle or other symbolic gesture without the vows). 

Post # 3
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I’m having a smaller ceremony guest list and a much larger guest list at my receptin. Both at the same venue. We just decided that we wanted a much more intimate ceremony so with just family and close friends. I live in England though, so having two different guest lists/inviting people to just the reception is a pretty normal thing. 

Post # 4
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

It sounds like the ball is already rolling on your wedding plans, so maybe don’t second guess them? Depending on what kind of ceremony you’re having, you may not have to do much or any public speaking at all. I wouldn’t plan a second ceremony in addition to the one you’re doing, since that doesn’t really change anything about the event you’re already having.

Maybe you and your FH can plan to have some quiet time on your wedding day where just the two of you sneak off together? That can be very centering, especially if you do it before the ceremony.

Post # 5
Member
13701 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s very, very rude to invite some people to the ceremony, and not others, when all are invited to a reception on the same day.  You sent Save the Dates already — people may be making travel arrangements already — and you’re out of luck.  Anyone who got a STD was invited to your wedding, which includes your ceremony.

If I came and there was no ceremony, or just a “for show” ceremony (since you may get married earlier), I’d be pissed. 

Post # 6
Member
2713 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

The only way you can do this is to have a private ceremony (parents, siblings and grandparents only).

Post # 7
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

People tend to want to go to both the ceremony and reception. It doesn’t mean you can’t, of course, have a private ceremony and then a regular reception but it does mean you should be prepared for people to be upset about it. 

You could consider doing a courthouse wedding well in advance of the reception and then re-sending announcements/invitations stating you’re already married and to please come celebrate this with you both. May be less hurt feelings this way. 

Post # 8
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

You already sent save the dates — I think that ship has sailed.

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