Post # 16
ngncanadianbee : haha maybe you can have baskets of bills to give out to guests to give you! 🙂
Anyway, I am the lazy kind that most likely won’t study up before the wedding and will just ask around at the wedding, so I think a PP’s suggestion of the DJ saying something is nice.
ETA: I feel like that joke is mean and I’m apologize. It’s great that you want to have some culture of yours in the wedding, I’m just not sure about the educate part.
Post # 17
If you put it on the website, I would say something along the lines of “you can expect to see the bride’s family participate in the money-spraying dance” or something like that, so they don’t feel like they are expected to participate. I wouldn’t even go as far as to say “feel free to join”.
Of course, after that blurb, go into details about the tradition.
Post # 18
It’s completely reasonable to have a section on your website describing different Nigerian wedding traditions, including this one. Just word it in a way that doesn’t imply your other guests should participate. I can completely understand your desire to have guests on both sides participate in traditions from both sides, but I draw the line when that involves actively encouraging people to give you money. Surely there are other, non-monetary traditions that everyone can participate in?
Yes: “You may see some of the older Nigerian guests throwing money on the bride and groom whenever they hit the dance floor. This is a fun tradition that means blah blah blah.”
No: “If you want to participate in this money-spraying, we recommend bringing American $1 bills.”
Post # 19
Hi! Another Naija girl here and I think it’s a great idea to explain our culture to guests before hand. It’s optional, no one is required to spray! My fiancé is Serbian and we live in the US so most people coming to our wedding don’t know about our traditions or carry cash and I think they would love to participate. We added it to our wedding website. We used withjoy because there are many options and a frequently asked questions section (and free).
Post # 20
cherryberrypie : haha no worries no offense taken. I’ve heard of someone who printed out fake dollar bills with her face on them as a joke and had a basket of those for guests to use. Contemplated it but thought it might be too weird
Post # 21
ngncanadianbee : I think Rosenshine’s suggestion is perfect.
Post # 22
RoseandShine : that’s a great suggestion that I’ll likely go with. BookishBee : Thanks! – I can see how it seems more cash grabby to mention currency.
lovelola214 : Hey, great to meet another Nigerian on here! And you just helped cement my decision to use withjoy!
Post # 23
ngncanadianbee : I went to a friends wedding in Russia a few years ago. Many parts of it were traditional Russian, including “money” type games. We weren’t given any head s up beforehand about these traditions, but I guess neither did I read up on them off my own bat in advance..
Either way, when they happened, I obviously didn’t really have a lot of cash on me to participate, or I banded together with some friends to raise some cash for one of the games. It was all in fun tho, I enjoyed watching it all as it was new and different and it didn’t bother me not to participate as it was not something I was used to! It was a very fun wedding so it wasn’t uncomforable in the slightest.
I would go with the “What to expect at a Nigerian Wedding” section on your website, and just include a link to another site explaining the various traditions etc. Make it very general. I wouldn’t mention anything about your guests participating or not, just give them a heads up about stuff that might happen.
Its great fun to watch other traditions/cultures. Your guests will/can join in if they want to.
Post # 24
I actually love the idea of printing “fake” paper money! There’s a thing in traditional Chinese ancestor worship called “Joss paper,” which is basically fake printed money that is burned as ancestor offerings to send wealth to the dead. The idea is that they will be recognized as currency in the afterlife. There are some polytheist tradtitions in america that do the same thing.
Which is just to say that, if the intention of this tradition is to “symbolically” shower the couple in wealth, maybe sybmolic money will serve that purpose without making guests who are unfamiliar with the tradition uncomfortable? If you want to sweep up and sort the paper later, your relatives who want to use real money could also do that without standing out too much. I don’t know enough about the tradition to know if this would work for you, but thought it might help!
Post # 25
ngncanadianbee : There is no way an advance announcement about a money spraying tradition for the “benefit” and “education” of those who don’t know will be interpreted as anything but what you have acknowledged it is in your OP.
You straight up said you don’t want spectators from the other side and you wanted a way to convey to guests that they should bring money. None of this will be lost on people, I assure you.
Post # 26
ngncanadianbee : my suggestion would be to mention it on a separate sheet within the invitation, like a little blurb on the tradition and then a thing that says something to the tune of “this is a fun tradition and we encourage anyone who would like to participate in this activity to bring small cash to throw, instead of a gift” and with consideration to our Canadian money, maybe set out a couple large metal containers that would make a pleasant ding sound when a loonie, twoonie, or other coin is tossed into it.
Post # 27
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
ngncanadianbee : I think PPs have all offered great suggestions. Personally, I’d do a couple things.
- Add an explanation to the wedding website of the range of customs you are planning to include – both Nigerian and whatever might come from your fiancees cultural heritage. You might put guests on both sides more at ease, and feel less singled out.
- I would also ask your DJ to make a brief announcement at the wedding itself as you go out to dance the first time – because a LOT of people aren’t going to read the website and might still be wondering what is going on.
- I would also print the novelty money. I think it’s cute and lets people participate without feeling pressured to literally throw cash at you.
I think you can do this in a way that’s fun for everyone without crossing a line. Not all cultures see it as uncouth to talk about money the way US/Canadian society does, and you have every right to enjoy your own traditions without feeling shamed for it.
Post # 28
ngncanadianbee : I don’t think it’s weird at all, it a funny and will not come off as “I don’t want money but my tradition says you can put some on me, no obligation though!”
You should print extra ones, or something else too, and give them out as flavours. Chocolate anyone?
Post # 29
ngncanadianbee : Don’t make 75% of your guests feel obligated to go along with something like this.
Post # 30
In addition to my post above, where I have been to a a wedding like this (which had various other Russian traditions that I was NOT aware of, like EVERYONE, standing up to give a toast to the couple lol), if you just don’t mention it at all people will just either not join in, watch, or join in to the extent they can/want to.
In my view, if someone gets “offended” by this then that’s their problem.. There’s lots of things in this world that people can take “offence” to… If they are mildly uncomfortable for a a couple of minutes because they can’t join in and throw money at you, or find it offensive, they’ll get over it. And if they don’t, then I feel sorry for them.
It is obviously a Nigerian tradition – which will be obvious when your NIGERIAN relatives start doing it. If someone can’t see it for what it is – their problem.