(Closed) how to end it…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You will get over it. Love doesn’t happen once. You can either stay until he kills you or leave. There are too many resources out there for women for you to just stay for the abuse. You should probably go to therapy too so that you don’t keep going back. You need to file a police report to have it on paper just in case he tries something else and you need a PFA or RO. 

Post # 4
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Honestly if he is capable of doing that even one time he will keep doing it. You need to get out now and don’t tell him where you are going. Cut off all communication. Probably you should even get a restraining order against him. I have been in abusive relationships before so I know it can be hard when you love the person, but you seriously need to get out and I think you know that.

Post # 5
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

It is VERY good that you realize something is wrong with this situation.  It is hard to love someone that we should not be with.  What you have shared here is a SERIOUSLY DANGEROUS SITUATION.  I don’t know how to stress that enough.  You need to get out of the situation, and soon.  But you DO NOT need to tell him you are leaving.  That will likely cause him to be super nice and win you back just to hurt you worse and/or seriously hurt you immediately.  If you do not want to let law enforcement know, even though I think you should, at least keep a record or something of what has happened.  If you leave him, he may follow/threaten you.  I will be praying for you.  Please be careful and let us know you are okay.

Post # 6
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

i agee, get out now before you end up in the hospital or worse. That will ONLY get worse with the years. The love you guys had left once he first laid a hand on you.

Post # 7
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Seriously, get out now. I know it’s hard but you have to do it. Just leave him and don’t look back.

Post # 8
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

normally you’d hear the opposite of this statement, but the truth is it takes a moment to fall in love but years to fall out of it (c’mon bees, i know some of you can agree with this statement).

the worst part of it will be gaining the courage to break it off. the fight. the yelling. the crying. it’s horrible…but once its over, its over. its been said. from then you can move on, but of course it will be awhile. remember in high school when you’d break up with a boyfriend? it felt like you’d NEVER get over him! well, you did, didn’t ya? of course. it just takes time, hun……

Post # 9
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh yeah totally, if some random dude walked up to me and punched me and then told me he wanted to kill me I wouldn’t call the cops either. It’s no different than what your Fiance is doing. Don’t let your feeling get involved. If you let him get away with that then he’ll do it to other women as well. 

Post # 10
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

🙁

You need out. Don’t tell yourself to stay in an abusive relationship just because you love him and you can’t imagine being without him. I know it’s hard, but you have to do it. ::hugs:: we are here for you.

Post # 11
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This hurt me to read even if I do not know you. Please leave as soon as possible. RUN. Don’t let this person hurt you one more time. You will love again. He isn’t caring for you by abusing you. I am so sorry this has happened. If this were me, I’d be seeking some therapy but I don’t want to sound rude by suggesting that.

Post # 12
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Imagine what it’s going to be like if/when you have children? Do you want your kids to hear daddy beating the crap out of Mommy?

..Probably not. If he hits you, he doesn’t love you. And men who hit women are pussies. I’m sorry, they are.

Get out of the situation and get into therapy to talk to someone about this.

Post # 13
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@secretbee123: I KNOW it’s hard, and I KNOW that along with physical abuse there also breeds the emotional kind and sometimes that’s even worse. It’s hard to feel like you’re nothing at some points and then his everything at others. It’s all about control with these men. The fact that you are wanting to leave is a very good thing. No one can make you leave until you’ve had enough. Get out now. Reach out to family and friends, and a couselor. Get all the support you can handle and then get some more. You CAN get through it. And you WILL find a man worthy of your love. Walk away and never look back. Learn from this and move on from BOTH men. The last thing you need right now is another man to be your crutch. Time to find yourself, BY YOURSELF.

Believe me, I know.

Good luck to you.

Post # 14
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

also have someone there when you leave, cops don’t usually do that…maybe in your area one would? A good friend, family…anyone really. Explain calmly that it is the best for both of you even if you love him and pack up before hand when he isn’t there if you guys live together.

Post # 15
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

How do you break it off? You just do. Tell someone you trust the truth and go stay with them.

I’m pretty sure that if you’re already involved with someone else, you’re not going to be aching to be with Mr. “I’m going to kill you” all that badly. Although I will say that jumping into another relationship straight away is not the healthiest way to deal with this. Please seek professional counseling. I wish you the best.

Post # 16
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am so sorry, that is not love, that is manipulation.  There is never an excuse to hit, not ever.  You need to leave before you seriously get hurt or worse.  I have been there, it is a slow process to get you to this point.  Now you find it hard to leave, I understand this, but you need to be stronger and take yourself out of this situation and take shelter somewhere – anywhere – where you can get away from this situation and find a safe place for a while so you can get your mind out of the abuse cycle.  It take months or longer to get your mind out of the abuse cycle, please please please get out now while you can.  I am praying for you and if you need anything, please pm me.  I have been through an abusive situation, I understand where you are at.  ((((HUGS)))))

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