- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
I have a rather unique issue. I was afraid to post about it because when I was lurking for the past few months, I noticed that some (NOT ALL) Bees can be very cruel and spiteful. I don’t think it is fair to myself to let fear keep me from seeking advice, so here goes.
My husband is not the typical man I have been exposed to. When it comes to sex, he is all about romance and seduction. While I think this is very sweet, I am more about rough sex and explicit talk. My husband doesn’t mind rough sex once in a while, but he has an overwhelming preference for romance. He feels that making love to his wife is special and it shouldn’t be about just fucking me.
Maybe my history of sexual abuse and promiscuity have warped the way I look at sex? I know that I have a very difficult time with vulnerability and trusting my husband. My husband wishes that I would just relax and allow him to be romantic.
I find myself getting irritated by what I deem to be corny and artificial romantic gestures. For example, my husband has taken to dipping me before giving me passionate kisses. I know that he is just being romantic but it also feels like something out of a romance novel….very cheesy and fake. I don’t tell him to stop dipping me because I know it would hurt his feelings. My husband gets offended when I ask him what he is doing when he is trying to romance me.
Look, I know I must sound terrible and ungrateful. Many women would love romance but I don’t really know how to accept it. The question that I want to ask the Bees is…how can I learn to be more comfortable with romance? I talked to my therapist about this issue and she said that I have severe intimacy difficulties. It is so sad that I can’t even look into my husband’s eyes during lovemaking while he likes to stare into mine. I know I am broken…I just need suggestions on how to change the way I look at sex.
Thanks for reading.