- 8 years ago
just tell them! it’s your decision, not theirs.
i agree. if you are old enough to be engaged, you are old enough to make decisions for yourself. Plus, it’s 2010, and people usually live together before marriage anyways. It saves on bills too! ha
DO they pay your bills? Are they super conservative/religous? Have they expressly stated that they would disapprove of you doing this?
If the answers are “No” to all of this, it might not be as big a deal as you think. When I told my parents, which I was very nervous about, they were like, “well, you’re and adult, you pay your bills, and frankly you’re young enough that we’re just glad you aren’t getting married yet” I was both shocked, pleased and offended. Give your parents some credit. They might be cooler than you think!
I had a hard time telling my parents! But I had also just turned 18. They way it got to them was that I was always at his house til the late hours of the night (2-3am) or some nights I would stay the night. I slowly made my collection and eventually had my own wordrobe at his place. My parents kinda figured it out lol.
But I would just let them know. Most people are already living together before they get married anyways. It will help you get to know him better and his habits as well as him with yours.
My parents are super conservative and they have been helping me out paying some bills (my car insurance, health insurance, cell phone bill). They have payed for things for me for a long time. But i want to start paying my own bills/rent from now on. I’ve had it way too good, and I tell them all the time that I don’t want them to do this. Its like they can’t let go because of me being their “little girl.” Enough is Enough! I want to be with my man, not my parents!!!
Can you afford all of those bills without your parents contributing?
I should be able to afford them. I’m not making a lot of money subbing in the school district, but I will just have to budget my money. I know that my boyfriend is going to pay most of the rent and all the utilties. We are planning on getting an apartment that is only $600 a month, so he said I would only have to pay $250 of that. He makes over $40,000 a year, so he will pay for most of the expenses.
I suggest that you two make a budget first and make sure you can afford all of your bills if your parents get upset and/or cut you off financially.
40k plus some additional income from your job sounds like a lot, but the money goes quickly once you factor in all of your expenses.
There are budget worksheets online that can help, see what Google pulls up.
WEll, thats a different story. People who pay your bills get a say in how you spend their money, so you have to be ready to step up if they threaten to cut of their funds if you do this. Which, if they disapprove, is probably the first thing they’ll do.
I think that you need to sit down with them and let them know that you appreciate all the help they have been giving you, and that, as an adult, you want to take steps to be more independant, both in your living arrangements and your lifestyle. Let them know that your relationship is serious and you want to take the next step. ANd let them know that to you, that is living together and pursuing your relationship.
And from there, you know better than I what will com next, whether that is a yelling freak out, or crying, or calm. Good luck!
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