How to explain your reasons for getting a moissy without being offensive

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

I have a moissanite and have been engaged since September, and I’ll be honest, not a single person has brought it up or asked. Frankly, I don’t know if anyone knows! If someone were to explicitly say, “Wow, what a beautiful diamond!” I might correct them (based on how well I know them and how much I care to correct them) but everyone just comments how pretty it is and leaves it at that. Do most assume it’s a diamond? Probably. But whatever! No one asks.

I too was a little worried wondering what people would think, but when it doubt, just say the truth! There’s nothing wrong with admitting it’s cheaper and that you like that it’s lab made.

Post # 17
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

I understand your situation OP. Many Bees say that you don’t owe an explanation to anyone, and they’re right… But, my family is very nosy and inquisitive and people just won’t stop asking! And I totally agree with your point that it’s so easy to offend someone with your response.

I would go with an argument for aesthetic preference: “We looked at diamonds and moissanites side by side, and we decided we loved moissy more. So that’s what we got. But your (insert gem name here) is gorgeous too! Ahhh, I just love jewelry!”.

Move on to another topic. The End.

Post # 18
Member
47 posts
Newbee

Don’t initiate the conversation.  If someone asks or comments about the stone, you can tell them that it is a moissanite.  If they ask why you got it or act judgy, you can say that you like the sparkle, color and durability of diamonds, but you don’t support diamond mining.  Only expand beyone that if they ask more questions about moissanites. 

I wouldn’t worry too much about it.  People in real life, rarely comment on other people’s rings.  The most you’ll probably get is  someone saying its nice or asking where you got it. 

 

Post # 19
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

mrsbluetomato :  Yes! My friend has a moissanite and that was her response as well – “three times the sparkle for a third of the price? How could I NOT pick it!” Very low key and confident.

Post # 20
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I get you, OP. I also have a moissanite and have been in situations where I just barely caught myself before denigrating the diamond industry to someone wearing a diamond. I’m not even actually opposed to diamonds, and would happily have accepted a lab diamond or a vintage one – I just have really expensive taste and was able to get the look I wanted at an affordable price by going with moissanite instead. I agree with PPs that you should be able to talk about what you like about your stone without bashing other choices. Moissanite is lab-created, very nearly as durable as a diamond, at a fraction of the cost, and you could tell people that you and your Fiance want to prioritize wedding costs, or a house, or a vacation, or whatever, instead of a mined stone when you loved the look of moissanite just as much as a diamond.

My husband thought it was cool that moissanite was originally discovered on a meteor. Maybe go with that?

Post # 21
Member
47 posts
Newbee

The only truely ethical stone is a preowned stone.  All mining, whether its diamond or any other gem stone, is bad for the environment.  Moissanite, CZ, lab created diamonds also create industrial waste.

If the ethical angle is truely important to you, there are plenty of high quality second hand moissanites available.  Otherwise just say you prefer moissanite’s sparkle.  You and your fiance are the only people whose opinion matters, when it comes to your engagement ring. 

 

Post # 22
Member
2925 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

beesaredyingatanalarmingrate :  This!

Honestly, I roll my eyes at the whole “ethics” argument with moissanite.  People’s choices don’t affect me whatsoever, but at least be honest.  Unless the band is recycled gold or platinum and there aren’t any side diamonds in your ring, your ring isn’t 100% ethical.

OP – you don’t owe anyone an explanation, and I would not bring up the ethics “argument”, especially to someone you know may be sensitive about it.  You may not mean it, but it may come across as holier than thou.  If anyone asks, just say you like the sparkle.  I have a moissanite pendant and earrings and they look very different than my diamond ring.  Not necessarily in a bad way though.  I’ve had people ask me if my earrings were diamond, and I’m honest and tell them they’re moissanite.  I have met very few people in real life who know what moissanite actually is, or if they do know, they think it’s the yellowish-greenish stones that JCPenny carried when they first came out.  I tell them I’m a complete klutz and would lose my head if it wasn’t attached, so I’m much better off with moissanite earrings than diamond earrings.

Post # 23
Member
9604 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Just say it’s a similar look for cheaper and you didn’t want to spend 5 figures on a ring. I wouldn’t pretend it’s all ethics- that might offend, and it’s hypocritcal because it’s a diamond setting! 

Post # 24
Member
3292 posts
Sugar bee

Just keep your mouth shut. 

Post # 25
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 1984

I agree with PP who suggest that you don’t have to offer any explanation! I always say it’s what I like best and call it a day.

Post # 27
Member
995 posts
Busy bee

You shouldn’t have to explain anything. I think people should see the ring, say congrats… and if they think its pretty then compliment and move on. Why would ANYONE ask what type of stone it is to begin with? What a buzzkill.

Being newly engaged should be the topic of the evening… not specs, budget, hardness, etc etc of a ring.

Post # 28
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

lo8948 :  I think you’re overthinking this.  Unless you’re 20 years old and getting a 3 carat stone, no one is going to ask to your face what kind of stone you have.  And unless you go around waving your hand and saying “look at my moissanite engagement ring!”, no one really cares.  That’s not to say no one will be excited that you’re engaged, but I’ve never had anyone ask me what kind of stone I have.

Post # 29
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

 why would you have to give a whole explanation? Also, I don’t think any diamond owner would take offense on you buying something else. If anything, they’ll probably think you’re trying to justify you getting a sim  (which you don’t have to )

Post # 30
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have a diamond, that was mined by someone I know personally. But…I have always appreciated moissanite, and may get one someday for an anniversary ring.  I can easily afford a diamond of most any size. But my taste in jewelry leads my eye toward larger stones (in the 3.5ish carat range) and while I would be fine to *purchase* a ring that size,  because of its cost and value, I wouldn’t be comfortable *wearing* a diamond that size on a daily basis.  Likewise, I would avoid carrying $70k in cash in my purse on a daily basis. That’s an “economic” reason at the end of the day. But someone choosing something cheaper doesn’t mean they can’t afford the more expensive option. But it makes no difference to me if someone assumes that. 

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