How to explain your reasons for getting a moissy without being offensive

posted 1 year ago in Rings
Post # 31
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Hey OP, I think you got some good advice here by PPs. I just wanted to chime in on the ethical aspects of rings. Whilst I certainly never initiate any conversation about it, I don’t shy away from discussing the ethical aspects of jewelry when asked directly about it. I have a vintage ring because of ethical/environmental reasons. I don’t seek out conversations about it, but will share my thoughts about my choice when asked. If this offends someone – well, I can live with it. They either shouldn’t have asked, or they should have thought about the impact of their own purchase if they somehow think that my reasoning is a judgment of their choice. Tbh, though, I really doubt whether most people would care enough to discuss your choice of gem – most likely they will just be happy for you and want to hear your proposal story!

Post # 32
2709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

lo8948 :  Lab made synthetic genuine diamonds exist but of course are very expensive.

Everyone *knows* why someone chooses a much cheaper simulant/imitation/knockoff rather than the  expensive original! That goes for *any* item, not just moissanite or cz!

Thus actually questioning/asking *why* someone has a simulant could be interpreted as being deliberately rude!

Op you don’t owe anyone an explanation!

Post # 33
6303 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

lo8948 :  I would frame it less as explaining why you didn’t want a diamond and more as explaining why you chose moissanite.

Post # 34
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I don’t think you should have to explain yourself.  If they ask, just say “because that’s what we wanted”, and leave it at that.  

Post # 35
361 posts
Helper bee

People won’t ever ask you about what type of stone you have.  Really, they never, ever will.  You don’t go into specs of the stone, the type stone or the size.  Only the ridiculously tacky will do this.  (I’ve been engaged for a year, and no one has asked me about the stone.)  I know a few people with obvious non-diamonds (blue sahirres and green emeralds.)  To my knowledge, no one asks them about their stones.  

My Fiance gave me a perfect half carat diamond.  No one has said anything to me expect my ring is beautiful and very sparkly.  I know one or two co-worker’s who wear rings that, were they diamonds, would be two plus carats.  Their FI’s probably make less mine.  They make about the same as me.  Sometimes I think their rings have to be moissanties or other synthetics, but I would never ask.

The reality is that no one will ask you about your ring, unless they have no social skills.  No one knows I have a diamond.  I never felt the need to tell anyone it was a diamond.  I’ve cerrtainly never considered discussing the quality with anyone.  Indeed, I wanted a blue sapphire because I considered it a better value for money.  (I didn’t want a synthetic stone.  My Fiance didn’t want a sapphire.)

Don’t bring it up.  People do not need know if your stone is a diamond, a white sapphire or a moinssoinate.  

Post # 36
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

lo8948 :  why do you feel the need to explain it? 

Post # 37
1186 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry but “it was the best decision for us” just sounds terribly vague and mysterious and rehearsed to me. 

Agree with PPs just say something lighthearted like “I love the extra sparkle it gives!” then wiggle your hand around to give them a demo, then just move on xo


Post # 38
1669 posts
Bumble bee

pussinboots07 :  I think if you have an unusual ring people will ask about it and it won’t be for lack of skills. When I didn’t have my ring yet I would often ask women I spotted with gorgeous rings if I could look more closely or what type of stone it was. I didn’t ask for specs I would just say “oh wow, your ring is so beautiful. What a gorgeous blue! What kind of stone is that?” Even now when I have it if I see something unusual I will compliment it. I woudkbt ask if I thought it was a simulant, but blues and greens and pinks and purples catch my eye in a good way. 

Post # 39
2513 posts
Sugar bee

1. Select any stone you love, in a beautiful setting of your choice.

2. Discuss the price, type of stone carat weight of gold, etc. with NO ONE but your spouse, EVER.


4. Bliss!

Post # 40
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

“This is my ring, I love it so much! It’s moissanite because I wanted moissanite.” Done. 

Post # 41
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I tell people I don’t eat meat, eggs or dairy for ethical reasons every day.  If people ask why you chose a moissy and you give an honest answer that offends them, that’s their problem bee! You do you.

Post # 42
1107 posts
Bumble bee

lo8948 :  I’m a frugal weirdo so lots of stuff people spend money on is what I would consider, how should I put this, a total fucking waste of money. My polite explanation for not buying into things (regardless of what it is) is to just say “oh that’s not really how i wanted to spend my money, i prefer to use it for different things”. People know diamonds are expensive so I think they’ll probably ask very few follow ups. 

It might not be 100% transparent, but it’s workable. 

Post # 43
744 posts
Busy bee

Bees when someone buys a moissanite: “just don’t try to pass it off as a diamond! It’s so tacky when people lie”

Bees when someone asks about telling people about their moissanite: “why would you ever discuss this with anyone”

Post # 45
4759 posts
Honey bee

mrstodd2bee :  Actually I have a lab diamond. It’s expensive but cheaper than mined. 

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