- 5 years ago
Over the years I’ve read about difficulties that brides have met in finding rabbis who will officiate on Saturday, will co-officiate with other clergy, charge too much, want the non-Jewish person to convert, or refuse to do one thing or another. There are many rabbis who will do everything, some who won’t do any anything, many who aren’t in your budget and many who are simply not the person who you want to officiate at your wedding service. To those of you who’ve written to InterfaithFamily.com or who’ve mosted on this board looking for a rabbi you will most likely get a list of qualified rabbis. but you may have to be flexibile.
Here are some things that I’ve learned over the decades.
1) In large metropolitan areas there are always numerous rabbis who will perform ceremonies.
2) In smaller cities, although there will be rabbis who will travel there, the honorariums will be considerably higher.
3)Rabbis don’t necessarily charge what the market will bear. It usually depends on how much work is involved.
4) Couples tend to treat rabbis only as vendors. Many rabbis treat couples only as clients. It is difficult for us to go to attend a wedding where I know that more is paid for the cake, food, DJ, photographer, make-up, venue, salads, then we are. but that being said most rabbis including myself are still trying to adjust to the current times.
All of this notwithstanding, I wish all of the bees and their families a hearty congratulations and warm wishes on their coming weddings and of course on their coming marriages.