- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
BF’s sister had a baby this week, we have a baby shower to go to tomorrow but might not make, and we have an expecting couple coming to visit this weekend partly for a bachelor/bachelorette party tomorrow night. So much is going on with friends who, while I’m not ready for kids (and might never be), have moved on into a new phase in life, and I feel left behind, as one of the last “Just a girlfiend” in our group. Just heard on Monday that BF’s little brother is probably going to get married come October, so now we have the big June wedding, a small one for my younger cousin in August, the October one, and the TBA one for my half brother to try to attend, and we just got through with one in January and one in March. Seriously. 6 weddings in one year? One couple of the 11 who got engaged this past year eloped, so at least I got to avoid the awkward, why are you still waiting type questions, but I am not looking forward (sad to say) to my cousin’s or my brother’s weddings. I don’t now them well, but they all know how long we’ve been together, and always make sure to ask when I manage to talk to them.
Sorry – PMS hits yet again, I’m hoping I won’t get all moody tomorrow before or after the party, with the whole, “I’m happy for her but will that ever be me?” feelings. I’m tired of deflecting the “Are you next?” comments and questions that people don’t ask usually unless there are other’s getting married around you. I can only make so many lighthearted answers to a question I’d like answered myself. I don’t want to be such a selfish B that I can’t control my emotions and behave. Dang, why did this all have to fall on this week?
I’m tired of Boyfriend or Best Friend freaking out about being worried he’s going to ruin this wedding by messing up somehow as a groomsman – I keep telling him no one’s really going to be looking at you, they won’t care too much what you’re doing. We have to go get him measured tomorrow for his tux, which means a 90 minute round trip drive into town, before heading back to figure out what we’re doing for the seperate guy/girl parties.
I’m trying to just live in the “now” and not worry about if/when we might move on and get married ourselves… but with so much of it going on around us it’s damned hard NOT to think about it.
I’m just all cranky and moody, and it’s hard NOT to feel like the odd one out right now. Sorry.